全詩除頸聯外,幾乎一賦到底,似沒有起興,意象不足,情深而句纖,特別是“蜄雲”和“螺甲”比擬似欠精切,讀起來味淡。另外前四句太多與韻腳讀音相近的字,“翻”,“蜷”,“垣”,“添”,“慣”,“淺”,似影響音韻之美。個見供參。
全詩除頸聯外,幾乎一賦到底,似沒有起興,意象不足,情深而句纖,特別是“蜄雲”和“螺甲”比擬似欠精切,讀起來味淡。另外前四句太多與韻腳讀音相近的字,“翻”,“蜷”,“垣”,“添”,“慣”,“淺”,似影響音韻之美。個見供參。
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