問好道人兄!起承緒勢言情大好,轉結得稍弱。作“欲使歌聲渡,何方及客愁”如何?僅供您參考,還應您個人感覺為主。
所有跟帖:
• 覺得清泉兄的建議非常好! -寒硯- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/11/2014 postreply 16:31:09
• 清泉兄好,寒姐好。本想是前一句描畫景,後一句歎故人。看來還要多學習。謝謝好 建議! -閑散道人- ♂ (0 bytes) () 11/11/2014 postreply 18:49:40
• 覺得清泉兄的建議非常好! -寒硯- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/11/2014 postreply 16:31:09
• 清泉兄好,寒姐好。本想是前一句描畫景,後一句歎故人。看來還要多學習。謝謝好 建議! -閑散道人- ♂ (0 bytes) () 11/11/2014 postreply 18:49:40
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