答謝一首
[玉樓春]
前生縱是紅塵淚,不枉詩情曾一醉。風煙夜色久孤伶,迷霧晨曦浮小字。
雲高飄遠心如寄,水闊長流魂若止。韶華戚戚有窮時,不盡蒼蒼無限意。
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兩片折腰體仄韻小七絕。感覺下片可以蘊藉一些,至少第一個"雲"字可以不必用得那麽直白。謝謝。
-墨瑞-
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07/11/2014 postreply
15:36:17
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