“年輪多了一圈又一圈”,建議改成 “年輪一圈又一圈放大”。給一個韻腳,不然,這一節就隻有末尾一個韻“芽”,孤單了。
很美麗抒情的詩。讚一個!
所有跟帖:
• 或“年輪一圈又一圈增加”。 -曲未平- ♂ (0 bytes) () 02/24/2013 postreply 01:55:34
• 太好了,謝謝曲帥~~~問好~~~ -柳煙- ♀ (19 bytes) () 02/24/2013 postreply 11:30:24
“年輪多了一圈又一圈”,建議改成 “年輪一圈又一圈放大”。給一個韻腳,不然,這一節就隻有末尾一個韻“芽”,孤單了。
• 或“年輪一圈又一圈增加”。 -曲未平- ♂ (0 bytes) () 02/24/2013 postreply 01:55:34
• 太好了,謝謝曲帥~~~問好~~~ -柳煙- ♀ (19 bytes) () 02/24/2013 postreply 11:30:24
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