前夫去世了
四十年前，一對無緣人就這麽陰差陽錯的結婚了，二十多年的磨合除了一對可愛的兒女見證了我們之間的平淡無味的歲月外，我們彼此都把愛和情給了我們的孩子們。孩子們長大啦，我們的日子也走到了盡頭。
離婚之後雖然我們仍然同住一個城市，同在一個大學工作，但我們早在離婚前就成了陌路人。我以為離婚宣判了我們之間的結局，我真的以為我和他之間再也沒有了瓜葛。直到今天當我聽到健康如牛的他突然去世了，我的心一下子就像被針紮了一樣的痛得我喘不過來氣。原來有緣無份的我們早讓二十多年的相伴，把彼此習以為常的生活注入了我們的生命裏。我為兒女們失去了父親而痛，我為年邁的前婆婆失去兒子而痛，我也為失去的辛苦了大半輩子的前夫而痛。眼淚就這麽為他流著，我是一個好強女人，我不記得離婚的時候這麽傷心過，我不記得從何時開始他的存在對我來說早成了親情的家人…
生命的長短真的是沒法用我們的時間尺寸去度量的。平時體弱多病的我一直是他關照的對象，他常常說我生病的時候是他最能派上用場的時候，因為他可以有機會照顧我…哎，其實在我剛剛來美國的時候，是他為我，也為我們曾有過的家撐起了那片天。他也曾害怕過，沮喪過，他也曾以老婆為自豪過，他說：“家裏的大事都是他做主，小事都是老婆管。”當他的學生問他什麽樣的大事他做主了，結果他說目前家裏還沒發生過什麽大事。為什麽人總是在失去的時候才看到他的好？我為他禱告了一輩子，我不知道他走前有沒有記得我告訴過他的話：“當我們不能掌控自己的命運的時候，別忘了抓住神的手，因為他能救你。” 真希望兒女們還能再見到他們的父親。天堂的世界裏有等待我們的親人。
我不知道他為什麽突然在自己的家裏就去世了？我也沒法想象他就這麽舍得丟下自己的家人去了，但我知道我們都沒法掌控自己的命運，走好我們每天的路，開心快樂的把生命的答卷在天父那裏畫上句號。
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女兒說：“I am so surprised to read all the comments about my dad's passing. He only started to sing in the past few years because he joined this community. When I would go back home to visit, he would sing for hours every night after dinner. I was so shocked by how loud he was! The last time I went back to visit him was in January 2022. I had to teach a class on Zoom in the evenings, and I made him promise not to sing until I was done, otherwise all my students would hear him from the basement!
Many people in his life only knew him for being an accomplished professor. But he also had many creative interests like drawing, photography, writing, and singing. And he was the best cook! Every time before I visited him, he would ask me what I wanted to eat and plan meals for the entire trip. He was a wonderful father.
I never knew that he was part of such a big singing community, and it makes me happy that he has so many friends and even fans here. I have learned a lot about him since he passed away, and hope that I can still be surprised by him in the future.
Please keep your loved ones close, call your parents or your children. My dad and I were close and we talked pretty regularly, but of course now I wish I could have talked to him more. He was healthy and full of energy, you can hear it in his singing. This was a shock to all of us.
Please celebrate his life and his singing, it would make him so happy.”
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兒子說：“
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