坑 (ZT)

我是上海人,來美21年；我妻子是青島人，來美10年; We have been married for 3 years and have a daughter who is 17 months. I do love my wife.  Under most circumstances, I feel my wife loves me and our family.  What is bothering me was that I found out the beneficiary of my wife retirement account and IRA accounts was neither me or our daughter instead.  My wife designated her parents and her brother in China as her beneficiaries of her accounts. My wife is the sole beneficiary of all of my investment accounts.

After my repeated requests, my wife finally changed the beneficiary of her 401K to our daughter only after our daughter was born. A while ago, I found out the beneficiary of my wife's IRA accounts is still her parents and her brother even with an IRA account she opened after we got married.  When I brought this up to my wife's attention, she thought it was not a big deal.  According to her, it is very common not to list spouse as beneficiary for Chinese family in the states.  She thought I was too shanghainese, which meant watching money too closely. I am willing to give her reasonable doubt that I am too sensitive.  This is why I reach out to seek comments from you guys and open to any suggestions.  I love my wife and my family.  Somehow I am very upset about being excluded from any of her accounts.  It is killing me inside.  Thanks!

Olin

所有跟帖： 

• 嫁老外人家老外就不在乎 -左腳一點右腳麵- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 14:35:58

• 老外care more about these things -ghost_in_shell- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 14:41:59

• 哎，人家知道的多。人家嫁給老外了。 -老忽- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 14:43:20

• 你才嫁老外了 -左腳一點右腳麵- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 14:52:36

• 咋地，嫁不出去了？ -老忽- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 14:53:57

• 喲，咋地你對我有意思？我長相粗俗、體重超標，嚇死你 -左腳一點右腳麵- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 15:02:26

• 難怪嫁不出去。 -老忽- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 15:24:43

• 我最近忙地震的事，否則我早去回首削你了 -左腳一點右腳麵- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 17:48:00

• 你？就憑你？ -老忽- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 17:53:58

• 上海人 = shanghainese？ -433832795028- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 14:39:58

• 好像在某些地方spouse如果不是占50％以上，是違法的。 -老忽- ♂ (35 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 14:41:44

• 是這樣的 -也潛水- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 14:48:42

• 通常是要有 spousal consent -433832795028- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 14:50:08

• 回複：坑 (ZT) -也潛水- ♀ (364 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 14:47:06

• 是嗎？你是說她兄弟對她子女會比她丈夫對他自己的子女好？如果這樣想，我看這個婚姻沒有任何基礎。 -老忽- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 14:49:14

• 我們不了解他們的家人，也許她的兄弟真的很讓她信得過. -也潛水- ♀ (97 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 14:57:11

• 還是不信任丈夫。為什麽和一個不信任的人生活在一起？為什麽不和她弟弟生活？ -老忽- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 15:27:29

• 我就知道兩個丈夫原來是非常好的。新婚後就完全不顧前子女了 -也潛水- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 15:54:53

• 這種事肯定有，也有再婚後不顧孩子的母親。所以要留錢給孩子，父母。 -老忽- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 16:13:08

• 是有那種女人,她們有血濃於水的保守思想.而且,不留錢給下一代,反要往上交. -Blue_Diamond- ♂ (124 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 14:50:54

• 這也計較？ -planojw- ♂ (25 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 14:55:59

• 就是怕筆老婆活得長，但又拿不到老婆的那份401k -433832795028- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 14:58:58

• 有了鉈你怕啥 -左腳一點右腳麵- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 15:05:49

• 不怕死，就怕不死 -也潛水- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 15:06:31

• 各家的問題，不是大是大非的， 就算了吧。假設，這青島人是獨女 -豪客來2010- ♂ (312 bytes) () 03/24/2011 postreply 14:57:37