我對亦舒姐姐的一些想法，亦舒姐姐也許不同意

我們從小的文化非常competitive, 追求achievement. 從academic excellence 到super 化妝 衣品 身材口才。 all directions.

我們都曾經追求這些。Luckily we put a few under our belts.

然後幾十年的生活過來，我們發現achievements don’t necessarily bring in inner happiness and the happiness among the people matter most to us. We found what really make us happy are the deep bonding connections with our hubby/soul mate, our close relationship with our parents and kids, our a few close friends. When our kids are happy are frustrated, we are the first a few they want to talk with. We are able to get along well wit our aging parents and have abilities to provide care to them when they are in their most vulnerable last journey.

But how? These deep connections come from our values or maybe another word common sense.i don’t have an accurate definition it. Maybe a few examples.

All kids are talented. When my elder son tried to get into MIT but ended at NYU Stern, I told him, you are extremely talent but just not express yourself well. Mom got in because I am a woman it’s both discriminative and affirmative reason. I don’t let him feel that just because he got into Stern and Mom was in MIT, he is less talented. Our whole family wears NYU hoodies, caps, etc. He feels ultimate supportive and always treats us as one of his best friends. 

Speaking of dating, people say oh everyone pursues different thing. From deep of my heart, I absolutely don’t believe money brings happiness. At where we are, we all live a comfortable life. What makes us truly happy is to find someone who is mesmerized by us and us mesmerized by him. To put personal achievement and income above the value of being true being loving is lack of common sense.

Another common sense example is to know what matters most. I was in consulting business, good pay,  high mile club, five star hotels, manage $100 million budget. But I have little time for hubby and kids. When I know I don’t have time for what whats really important, I switched career. Now I fly economy, live four star and Airbnb, but the happiness to see kids grow close and grow well, I am happy I put my priorities right.

從亦舒姐姐的帖子 我看到了太多competitiveness, single spot excellence, but very vague coherent theme of a path to real happiness.

所有跟帖： 

• 請寫中文，我英文不行。特別是沒段落的。 -HAPPY-DAY- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:17:06

• 我又用google translator看了一遍, 覺得不如英文生動 -yl450- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:31:26

• 分段後，她會同意更多。 -豐年8- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:18:33

• 鵝滴神，沒斷句沒段落，聖經上抄下來的嗎？ ：） -南俠- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:18:37

• 沒發現無憂白四大亦舒很相像?什麽都是自己是最好的. -2017wx- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:18:47

• 覺得自己最好的就會有憐憫他人之心。內心不確定才會說自己最好。 -豐年8- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:20:55

• 為什麽含姐姐呀？ -shiranle- ♀ (210 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:20:15

• 強調自己比較年輕。我說的不對可別打我。 -HAPPY-DAY- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:21:49

• 我覺得你不對 -shiranle- ♀ (241 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:24:47

• 樓主是個實誠人。她確實小一點。 ：） -xiaosai- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:29:00

• 看過 -shiranle- ♀ (62 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:30:53

• 我不對就道歉。：） -HAPPY-DAY- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:32:02

• 家壇美女人人都是top 1%, 除了 -3-D- ♂ (179 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:34:38

• 你居然看進去了？佩服一下下 -早晨從中午開始- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:23:28

• 看完了，寫的是不錯 -早晨從中午開始- ♀ (113 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:27:17

• 所以，可惜了碼那麽長的字 -早晨從中午開始- ♀ (68 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:30:34

• 她當然不是來學習和討教的。但是這裏基本沒人是啊，都是來展示的 -HAPPY-DAY- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:33:40

• 比較幼稚的世界觀。覺得她沒有反思和學習的能力 -豐年8- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:23:53

• 2000年能出國的哪一個不是傲視群雄，她不懂就說明不夠聰明 -豐年8- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:34:10

• 很同意你說的， 亦舒美女太好強了 -gzlady- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:23:58

• 亦舒選擇偶爾約會。你選擇婚姻高領人工懷孕為他生孩子。各有各的選擇。沒有哪個更比哪個精彩。因為大家是不同的人。沒有可比性 -julie116- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:24:29

• 讚！ -無所謂了- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:30:09

• 各自的priority不相同，誰也說服不了誰。 -katies- ♀ (46 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:37:41

• 50. -julie116- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:39:43

• 你這是在哲學大道上一路狂奔呐！ -PYT2013- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 19:19:07

• 她還說人家老公象吳征呢，還什麽穿衣啥的，你怎麽沒看見YS那麽惡毒的話說別人 -JAN2009- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 19:09:25

• 楊瀾還不高興呢,"我家老吳比他有錢“ 。 -13579246810- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 19:41:38

• 語音錄入 -13579246810- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:45:33

• 說的不錯。但是每一個人都隻能走自己的路。結局全憑造化：） -xiaosai- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:32:53

• 寫的不錯。But the fact that you are married doesn't automatically mak -lovNordstrom- ♀ (182 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:33:13

• 你本科讀的mit? 也是個女強人啊。不過你的英文也太 chinglish 了。不好意思啊…… -lucky_rain- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:38:04

• 語法錯誤太多 -stillfat- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:40:06

• 沒說是本科。的確錯誤有點多 -greenoasis- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:42:36

• 想起來一句話， 王婆婆的裹腳，又臭又長。 -平常心安- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:43:27

• 呼喚我秋六姐來改英文。 -stillfat- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:39:38

• 看得很透。亦舒就是要過讓人羨慕的日子。我覺得那個年齡的人很多那樣，從小根深蒂固的教育不容易改吧 -聽我作證- ♀ (104 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:43:07

• 想想總歸可以吧 -聽我作證- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:47:38

• 一山還有一山高，能力範圍過好自己的生活，比較踏實 -爰吃小麥草的貓- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:47:10

• 你這是要擴大打擊麵？把那個年齡也就是40-60的都打擊了 -greenoasis- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:51:32

• 打擊不了我，剛跳出了，深圳地鐵走優惠通道 -爰吃小麥草的貓- ♀ (343 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 18:55:48

• 我記得這位ID的dating帖子，寫得真的好，physically，emotionally，intelligently or i -nydct- ♀ (158 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 19:21:56

• 是的，她是一個非常理智而能力強的人，看帖子裏，跟她date過的人基本上都很快想跟她go exclusive， -nydct- ♀ (368 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 19:51:30

• 幫你改改英語 -潤濤閻- ♂ (4558 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 20:10:58

• 初稿，還需要改。你原來的語法錯誤太多啊 -潤濤閻- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 20:18:26

• 你改了以後語氣太平淡了。她寫的東西很有passion -nydct- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/01/2019 postreply 20:42:13