You are a real good wife. How lucky your hu*****and is! I personally have some legal trouble. With the help of a lawyer, things are moving toward a better direction. My opinion is to have a good lawyer, communicate good with the lawyer. You and your hu*****and should read some articles regarding law. There are millions of websites you can get info from.
Dropping or diverting charges are the best outcomes. If they are not available, pick a benigner one. All of these are the results of the negotiation between your lawyer and DA. In the mean time, I recommend you ask you lawyer to talk to an immigration lawyer regarding the impacts of the charges on your immgration visa application.
Calm down. You will be fine eventually. Good luck.