You can either pay a lawyer to "negotiate" on behalf of you in court or outside the court. You can also "DIY" and "negotiate" direct with your spouse. In all cases, the settlement has to be agreed upon by both parties and approved by court to be effective. Depends on each sides intention, motivation and stamina, there are countless ways to slice your two's piece of pie and fork out a deal. Of course, the more parties are involved ( if you add your lawyer and your spouse's lawyer), the less you two can get in the end.