I might be mean. But you need to put most of your

income into an oversea account. It's his time to support this family now that he is out of school and working. Move your retirement out before you are ready to file for divorce. Make sure this is a long process(over a couple of years since you are not planning to file for divorce soon). When you do file for divorce, he will not have any of the money you have made. Tell him and his mother to go to hell. Protect yourself is always the first priority as a woman.