I didn't bother read through all your post. But there are at least two mistakes in your first line:
1) As long as you are married on the last day of the tax year, you can choose to file your tax return as married file separately or jointly no matter where your spouse is.
2) your "在美親生的小鬼子" is a US citizen, why can't you claim him/her as your dependent?
If you don't know, please don't mislead others.
You are TOO WRONG!!!
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