I have read almost all the posts here regarding the relationship between you and your wife. And I think nobody can help you but yourselves.
小孩子,
If you still feel your anger, your anguish, please read my post later. If you already made up your mind about divorcing your wife, please don't read the rest. But I really hope you can read my two cents.
I hope you agree that it's a fortune that two people find each other. Don't throw it out easily.
You said only thing you want right now is mind of peace. I think it's not hard to get if that is true and you at least cared for your wife and your wife really care about you like she said in the post. Maybe you can give her and yourself sometime to test that. We can be your witness and give you spirital support if you want. Hope you can really calm down because there are a lot people here care about you guys. So what you can do now:
Talk with your wife nicely and ask for separation for some time. It can be official if you want, because when at the end if you still want to divorce, official separation time can help you that. Also this way you may help keep your wife visa status legal. Don't get divorce right away when you are in very emotional stage. You said you loved her, then please give yourself and her some time, let her prove that she really love you. If time proves that she only want you because her visa status, at least right now you can have a peace of mind and it shows you tried your best in this marriage and you act as a gentleman.
Maybe after separation you will think differently about your wife.
小孩子的妻子
If you want to keep this marriage,
1. don't threaten your hu*****and, especially using his mistake and American law, people will only look down at you.
2. don't say anything bad about your relation everywhere you go, especially your hu*****and's professors, this will only shame him and enrage him. What if you both later want to stay in the marriage, won't these become your joke?
3. give your hu*****and space. Right now he ask for divorce, ask him nicely for the separation, give him and yourself time and space to think about your marriage.
4. use the time of separation to get yourself stand on your own feet, no matter if you want just visa or if you want him. Independence will only show him your good side.
5. If you do want this marriage, I hope you can still care for your hu*****and but not pester him. Give him space, which is very important, help him with what he needs, from the post, it looks like he studies very hard, maybe you can negotiate with him to help him with the laundry and cooking, etc.
6. If you do want to stay in this marriage, don't contact your friend any more.
You can find a girl friend to share your thought if you do need someone to talk to.
You can't force him to stay in the marriage if he doesn't love you any more.
Good luck for both of you.
小孩子,
If you still feel your anger, your anguish, please read my post later. If you already made up your mind about divorcing your wife, please don't read the rest. But I really hope you can read my two cents.
I hope you agree that it's a fortune that two people find each other. Don't throw it out easily.
You said only thing you want right now is mind of peace. I think it's not hard to get if that is true and you at least cared for your wife and your wife really care about you like she said in the post. Maybe you can give her and yourself sometime to test that. We can be your witness and give you spirital support if you want. Hope you can really calm down because there are a lot people here care about you guys. So what you can do now:
Talk with your wife nicely and ask for separation for some time. It can be official if you want, because when at the end if you still want to divorce, official separation time can help you that. Also this way you may help keep your wife visa status legal. Don't get divorce right away when you are in very emotional stage. You said you loved her, then please give yourself and her some time, let her prove that she really love you. If time proves that she only want you because her visa status, at least right now you can have a peace of mind and it shows you tried your best in this marriage and you act as a gentleman.
Maybe after separation you will think differently about your wife.
小孩子的妻子
If you want to keep this marriage,
1. don't threaten your hu*****and, especially using his mistake and American law, people will only look down at you.
2. don't say anything bad about your relation everywhere you go, especially your hu*****and's professors, this will only shame him and enrage him. What if you both later want to stay in the marriage, won't these become your joke?
3. give your hu*****and space. Right now he ask for divorce, ask him nicely for the separation, give him and yourself time and space to think about your marriage.
4. use the time of separation to get yourself stand on your own feet, no matter if you want just visa or if you want him. Independence will only show him your good side.
5. If you do want this marriage, I hope you can still care for your hu*****and but not pester him. Give him space, which is very important, help him with what he needs, from the post, it looks like he studies very hard, maybe you can negotiate with him to help him with the laundry and cooking, etc.
6. If you do want to stay in this marriage, don't contact your friend any more.
You can find a girl friend to share your thought if you do need someone to talk to.
You can't force him to stay in the marriage if he doesn't love you any more.
Good luck for both of you.
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