Do you have your own place to live after divorcing? Money from IRA needs to pay back, unless he withdraw it or it is a Roth account (cash account, I have one. I buy my IRA (Roth) after Tax). Do you have any relatives who can help you to check your bank account? We don't really know how to check people's bank account. You may mention to the lawyer that he transfer money out and to ask the lawyer's suggestion. Don't forget write down he should support your kids till they graduate from graduate school (he has to pay tuition fee, may be half and half).
For the money transferring, you have to ask a lawyer. Also, you will get half of his 401k, and stocks. Write down a list what you need to do, what you want. Don't forget.