He has an attorney so he should let his attorney handle that.
Do not consider this as legal advice. Ask for trial. There will be case management conference which outlines issues, for example, the house. At trial, the judge will make decision. It does not matter whether she appears or not. If not, it is all the better that you will get a defaut judgment. Do not give up anything and let the attorney handle it.
Here are the issues:
1. The $130k downpay. This should be his separate property but he will need evidence to show your parent gave the money to him, not to them as a couple. He will get more than $130k. His attorney will use Moore-Marsden formula to calculate how much the $130k is worth today, before splitting the house 50-50.
2. She may be entitled to alimony but without knowing how long they are married and how much they make, it is hard to tell. But lifetime? Unless she does not want to marry anymore. Less than 10 years of marriage, the most she can get is 5 years. The amount depends on their incomes.
3. She may be entitled to half of the 401K but she would need a QDRO if she wants to wait that long to get the money.
4. She cannot get anything for his salary from now and on.
5. The tuition payment must be reimbursed to the community.
6. He can charge rent for the time she stays in the house. Keep a record.
Again, since he has an attorney, these cannot be legal advices. Just my personal opinion.
