找他信得過的朋友當中間人替你解釋,請他理解你的做法是為他愛的孩子們,不是為了為難他。
律師不是非要不可。除非你們有爭議不能協商解決。大部分律師都有 30min free consultation, you can always ask for it. Write down your questions, bring them with you for the 30 min free consultation. You will learn a lot, and mostly get your questions answered.
For your kids, you can ask school for school psychologist to help your kids to cope with the change. CA public school always offer this, it is a free service.
Take care, and good luck~~~