Try separate bank accounts first.

Tell him that you are a traditional chinese who would like to have some savings (not necessarily a lot) in the bank account in case something happens, especially now you have a little baby and mom to take care of. At the same time you have to understand his situation. He is growing up here. He may not think saving is necessary. You guys need to respect each other. That is why I suggest trying separate bank accounts first.

Share with him the major expenditures like mortages, and the expenditures on baby. Let him decide how he wants to spend the rest of his $. You control the leftover of your salary. If you think certain expenditure needs to be shared, talk to him nicely. After all, he is reponsible for taking care of his mom.

He is moving out with you that is a big gesture. Appreciate it by focusing on your own family. let him to handle his mom, brother etc. I know it is hard, but please try it before heading to a divorce.

Best Wishes!