Once you leave US while your petition for H4 extension is pending, you are automatically considered abandoning your petition.
However, you'll need to get a H4 visa stamp anyway to come back no matter you have your own I797 or not. You still need to take your spouse's petition package and latest original I797 to apply for visa. But with your own I797, it'd be more convincing to get your H4 visa doesn't mean you cannot get it.
BUT, if your spouse's petition for H1B extention is also pending then you are stuck. You cannot apply for H4 visa until your spouse's petition is approved.
However, you'll need to get a H4 visa stamp anyway to come back no matter you have your own I797 or not. You still need to take your spouse's petition package and latest original I797 to apply for visa. But with your own I797, it'd be more convincing to get your H4 visa doesn't mean you cannot get it.
BUT, if your spouse's petition for H1B extention is also pending then you are stuck. You cannot apply for H4 visa until your spouse's petition is approved.
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