in practice.
1) You file 485 with your wife
your wife files OPT
the person who reviews the OPT may pull out all your wife's info, and sees her 485
she receives a denial
2) Your wife files OPT
You file 485 w/o your wife
hope the person who reviews OPT will not link her to your case
she get approval
Technically OPT is not supposed to file, but EAD, after I-485 's been filed.
I may want you to notice the difference of F and H.
You file 485, denial, you still maintain your H;
Your wife's 485 got denied too, she faces losing F;
She may change F -> H to remain legal status
Hope this will help you make a decision.