--J1 visa should be instead by H1, otherwise, you should waiver again.
--reject 140 will not affect your H1 visa.
another, my girlfriend still studying in the university (USA) , F1 visa, not sure what time to marry , so I cannot add her name in the form.
--No, you can not, because you have not relationship with her from LAW.
even later time apply the green card, follow-in add her name in the form , can affect her later OPT aplication?
beacause she need at least 3 years to graduate, right ?
--if you get marry, you can add her. if She also file I-485, when she lost chance to get OPT.