李開複給女兒的一封信

Dear Daughter:
親愛的女兒：

As we drove off from Columbia, I wanted to write a letter to you to tell you all that is on my mind.
當我們開車駛出哥倫比亞大學的時候，我想寫一封信給你，告訴你盤旋在我腦中的想法。

First, I want to tell you how proud we are. Getting into Columbia is a real testament of what a great well-rounded student you are. Your academic, artistic, and social skills have truly blossomed in the last few years. Whether it is getting the highest grade in Calculus, completing your elegant fashion design, successfully selling your painted running shoes, or becoming one of the top orators in Model United Nations, you have become a talented and accomplished young woman. You should be as proud of yourself as we are.
首先，我想告訴你我們為你感到特別驕傲。進入哥倫比亞大學證明你是一個全麵發展的優秀學生，你的學業、藝術和社交技能最近都有卓越的表現，無論是你高中微積分第一名，時尚的設計，繪製的球鞋，還是在“模擬聯合國”的演說，你毫無疑問已經是一個多才多藝的女孩。你的父母為你感到驕傲，你也應該像我們一樣為自己感到自豪。

I will always remember the first moment I held you in my arms. I felt a tingling sensation that directly touched my heart. It was an intoxicating feeling I will always have. It must be that “father-daughter connection” which will bind us for life. I will always remember singing you lullaby while I rocked you to sleep. When I put you down, it was always with both relief (she finally fell asleep!) and regret (wishing I could hold you longer). And I will always remember taking you to the playground, and watching you having so much fun. You were so cute and adorable, and that is why everybody loved you so.

我會永遠記得第一次將你抱在臂彎的那一刻，一種新鮮激動的感覺瞬間觸動了我的心，那是一種永遠讓我陶醉的感覺，就是那種將我們的一生都聯結在一起的“父女情結”。我也常常想起我唱著催眠曲輕搖你入睡，當我把你放下的時候，常常覺得既解脫又惋惜，一方麵我想，她終於睡著了！另一方麵，我又多麽希望自己可以多抱你一會兒。我還記得帶你到運動場，看著你玩得那麽開心，你是那樣可愛，所有人都非常愛你。

You have been a great kid ever since you were born, always quiet, empathetic, attentive, and well-mannered. You were three when we built our house. I remember you quietly followed us every weekend for more than ten hours a day to get building supplies. You put up with that boring period without a fuss, happily ate hamburgers every meal in the car, sang with Barney until you fell asleep. When you went to Sunday Chinese school, you studied hard even though it was no fun for you. I cannot believe how lucky we are as parents to have a daughter like you.
你不但長得可愛，而且是個特別乖巧的孩子。你從不吵鬧、為人著想，既聽話又有禮貌。當你三歲我們建房子的時候，每個周末十多個小時你都靜靜地跟著我們去運建築材料，三餐在車上吃著漢堡，唱著兒歌，唱累了就睡覺，一點都不嬌氣不抱怨。你去上周日的中文學習班時，盡管一點也不覺得有趣，卻依然很努力。我們做父母的能有像你這樣的女兒真的感到非常幸運。

You have been an excellent elder sister. Even though you two had your share of fights, the last few years you have become best friends. Your sister loves you so much, and she loves to make you laugh. She looks up to you, and sees you as her role model. As you saw when we departed, she misses you so much. And I know that you miss her just as much. There is nothing like family, and other than your parents, your sister is the one person who you can trust and confide in. She will be the one to take care of you, and the one you must take care of. There is nothing we wish more than that your sisterhood will continue to bond as you grow older, and that you will take care of each other throughout your lives. For the next four years, do have a short video chat with her every few days, and do email her when you have a chance.

你也是個很好的姐姐。雖然你們姐妹以前也會打架，但是長大後，你們真的成為了好朋友。妹妹很愛你，很喜歡逗你笑，她把你當成她的榜樣看待。我們開車離開哥大後，她非常想你，我知道你也很想她。世界上最寶貴的就是家人。和父母一樣，妹妹就是你最可以信任的人。隨著年齡的增長，你們姐妹之間的情誼不變，你們互相照應，彼此關心，這就是我最希望見到的事情了。在你的大學四年，有空時你一定要常常跟妹妹視頻聊聊天，寫寫電子郵件。

College will be the most important years in your life. It is in college that you will truly discover what learning is about. You often question “what good is this course”. I encourage you to be inquisitive, but I also want to tell you : “education is what you have left after all that is taught is forgotten”. What I mean by that is the materials taught isn’t as important as you gaining the ability to learn a new subject, and the ability to analyze a new problem. That is really what learning in college is about – this will be the period where you go from teacher-taught to master-inspired, after which you must become self-learner. So do take each subject seriously, and even if what you learn isn’t critical for your life, the skills of learning will be something you cherish forever.
大學將是你人生最重要的時光，在大學裏你會發現學習的真諦。你以前經常會問到 “這個課程有什麽用”，這是個好問題，但是我希望你理解：“教育的真諦就是當你忘記一切所學到的東西之後所剩下的東西。”我的意思是，最重要的不是你學到的具體的知識，而是你學習新事物和解決新問題的能力。這才是大學學習的真正意義——這將是你從被動學習轉向自主學習的階段，之後你會變成一個很好的自學者。所以，即便你所學的不是生活裏所急需的，也要認真看待大學裏的每一門功課，就算學習的技能你會忘記，學習的能力是你將受用終身的。

Do not fall into the trap of dogma. There is no single simple answer to any question. Remember during your high school debate class, I always asked you to take on the side that you don’t believe in? I did that for a reason -- things rarely “black and white”, and there are always many ways to look at a problem. You will become a better problem solver if you recognized that. This is called “critical thinking”, and it is the most important thinking skill you need for your life. This also means you need to become tolerant and supportive of others. I will always remember when I went to my Ph.D. advisor and proposed a new thesis topic. He said “I don’t agree with you, but I’ll support you.” After the years, I have learned this isn’t just flexibility, it is encouragement of critical thinking, and an empowering style of leadership, and it has become a part of me. I hope it will become a part of you too.
不要被教條所束縛，任何問題都沒有一個唯一的簡單的答案。還記得當我幫助你高中的辯論課程時，我總是讓你站在你不認可的那一方來辯論嗎？我這麽做的理由就是希望你能夠理解：看待一個問題不應該非黑即白，而是有很多方法和角度。當你意識到這點的時候，你就會成為一個很好的解決問題者。這就是“批判的思維”——你的一生都會需要的最重要的思考方式，這也意味著你還需要包容和支持不同於你的其他觀點。我永遠記得我去找我的博士導師提出了一個新論題，他告訴我：“我不同意你，但我支持你。”多年後，我認識到這不僅僅是包容，而是一種批判式思考，更是令人折服的領導風格，現在這也變成了我的一部分。我希望這也能成為你的一部分。

Follow your passion in college. Take courses you think you will enjoy. Don’t be trapped in what others think or say. Steve Jobs says when you are in college, your passion will create many dots, and later in your life you will connect them. In his great speech given at Stanford commencement , he gave the great example where he took calligraphy, and a decade later, it became the basis of the beautiful Macintosh fonts, which later ignited desktop publishing, and brought wonderful tools like Microsoft Word to our lives. His expedition into calligraphy was a dot, and the Macintosh became the connecting line. So don’t worry too much about what job you will have, and don’t be too utilitarian, and if you like Japanese or Korean, go for it, even if your dad thinks “it’s not useful.” ：） Enjoy picking your dots, and be assured one day you will find your calling, and connect a beautiful curve through the dots.
在大學裏你要追隨自己的激情和興趣，選你感興趣的課程，不要困擾於別人怎麽說或怎麽想。史蒂夫•喬布斯曾經說過，在大學裏你的熱情會創造出很多點，在你隨後的生命中你會把這些點串聯起來。在他著名的斯坦福畢業典禮演講中，他舉了一個很好的例子：他在大學裏修了看似毫無用處的書法，而十年後，這成了蘋果Macintosh裏漂亮字庫的基礎，而因為Macintosh有這麽好的字庫，才帶來了桌麵出版和今天的辦公軟件（例如微軟Office）。他對書法的探索就是一個點，而蘋果Macintosh把多個點聯結成了一條線。所以不要太擔心將來你要做什麽樣的工作，也不要太急功近利。假如你喜歡日語或韓語，就去學吧，盡管你的爸爸曾說過那沒什麽用：）盡興地選擇你的點吧，要有信念有一天機緣來臨時，你會找到自己的人生使命，畫出一條美麗的曲線。

Do your best in classes, but don’t let pressure get to you. Your mother and I have no expectations for your grades. If you graduate and learn something in your four years, we would feel happy. Your Columbia degree will take you far, even if you don’t graduate with honors. So please don’t give yourself pressure。During your last few months in high school, you were so happy because there was little pressure and college applications are finished. But in the past few weeks, we saw you are beginning to worry (did you know you bite your nails when you are nervous?). Please don’t be worried. The only thing that matters is that you learned. The only metric you should use is that you tried. Grades are just silly letters that give the vain people something to brag, and the lazy people something to fear. You are too good to be either.
在功課上要盡力，但不要給自己太多壓力。你媽媽和我在成績上對你沒什麽要求，隻要你能順利畢業並在這四年裏學到了些東西，我們就會很高興了。即便你畢業時沒有獲得優異的成績，你的哥倫比亞學位也將帶你走得很遠。所以別給自己壓力。在你高中生活的最後幾個月，因為壓力比較小，大學申請也結束了，你過得很開心，但是在最近的幾個星期，你好像開始緊張起來。（你注意到你緊張時會咬指甲嗎？）千萬別擔心，最重要的是你有在學習，你需要的唯一衡量是你的努力程度。成績隻不過是虛榮的人用以吹噓和慵懶的人所恐懼的無聊數字而已，而你既不虛榮也不慵懶。

Most importantly, make friends and be happy. College friends are often the best in life, because during college you are closer to them physically than to your family. Also, going through independence and adulthood is a natural bonding experience. Pick a few friends and become really close to them – pick the ones who are genuine and sincere to you. Don’t worry about their hobbies, grades, looks, or even personalities. You have developed some real friendships in high school in your last two years, so trust your instinct, and make new friends. You are a genuine and sincere person – anyone would enjoy being your friend, so be confident, outgoing, and pro-active. If you think you like someone, tell her. You have very little to lose. Give people the benefit of the doubt; don’t stereotype and be forgiving. People are not perfect, so as long as they are genuine and sincere, trust them and be good to them. They will give back. This is my secret of success – that I am genuine with people and trust them (unless they do something to lose my trust). Some people tell me that occasionally I would be taken advantage of. They are right, but I can tell you that that loss is nothing compared to what I gained. In my last 18 years leading people, I have realized that only one thing matters – to gain the trust and respect of others, and to do so, you need to trust and respect others first. Whether it is for management, work, or friendship, this is something you should ponder.
最重要的是在大學裏你要交一些朋友，快樂生活。大學的朋友往往是生命中最好的朋友，因為在大學裏你和朋友能夠近距離交往。另外，在一塊兒成長，一起獨立，很自然地你們就會緊緊地係在一起，成為密友。你應該挑選一些真誠誠懇的朋友，跟他們親近，別在乎他們的愛好、成績、外表甚至性格。你在高中的最後兩年已經交到了一些真正的朋友，所以盡可以相信自己的直覺，再交一些新朋友吧。你是一個真誠的人，任何人都會喜歡跟你做朋友的，所以要自信、外向、主動一點，如果你喜歡某人，就告訴她，就算她拒絕了，你也沒有損失什麽。以最大的善意去對人，不要有成見，要寬容。人無完人，隻要他們很真誠，就信任他們，對他們友善。他們將給你相同的回報，這是我成功的秘密——我以誠待人，信任他人（除非他們做了失信於我的事）。有人告訴這樣有時我會被占便宜，他們是對的，但是我可以告訴你：以誠待人讓我得到的遠遠超過我失去的。在我做管理的18年裏，我學到一件很重要的事——要想得到他人的信任和尊重，隻有先去信任和尊重他人。無論是管理、工作、交友，這點都值得你參考。

Do keep your high school friends, and stay connected to them, but do not use them as substitutes for college friendship, and do not spend too much time with them, because that would eat into your time to make new friends.
要和你高中時代的朋友保持聯係，但是不要用他們來取代大學的友誼，也不要把全部的時間都花在老朋友身上，因為那樣你就會失去交新朋友的機會了。

Start planning for your summers early – what would you like to do? Where would you like to live? What would you like to learn? What have you learned in college that might change your mind? I think your plan of studying fashion is good, and you should decide where you want to be, and get into the right courses. We of course hope you come back to Beijing, but you should go where you think is best for you.
你還要早點開始規劃你的暑假——你想做什麽？你想呆在哪兒？你想學點什麽？你在大學裏學習是否會讓你有新的打算？我覺得你學習藝術設計的計劃很不錯，你應該想好你該去哪兒學習相應的課程。我們當然希望你回到北京，但是最終的決定是你的。

Whether it is summer-planning, or coursework planning, or picking a major, or managing your time, you should take control of your life. In the past, I have helped you quite a bit, whether it is in college application, designing your extracurricular activities, or picking the initial coursework. I will always be there for you, but the time has come for you to be in the driver’s seat – this is your life, and you need to be in control. I will always remember the exhilarating feeling in my life – that I got to decide to skip kindergarten, that I got to decide to change to computer science major, that I got to decide to leave academia for Apple, that I got to decide to go to China, that I got to decide to go to Google, and most recently, that I got to decide to start my own business. Being able to decide means you get to live the life that you want to. Life is too short to live the life others do or others want you. Being in control feels great. Try it, and you’ll love it!
不管是暑假計劃，功課規劃，抑或是選專業，管理時間，你都應該負責你的人生。過去不管是申請學校、設計課外活動或者選擇最初的課程，我都從旁幫助了你不少。以後，我仍然會一直站你身旁，但是現在是你自己掌舵的時候了。我常常記起我生命中那些令人振奮的時刻——在幼兒園決定跳級，決定轉到計算機科學專業，決定離開學術界選擇Apple，決定回中國，決定選擇Google，乃至最近選擇創辦我的新公司。有能力進行選擇意味著你會過上自己想要的生活。生命太短暫了，你不能過別人想要你過的生活。掌控自己的生命是很棒的感覺，試試吧，你會愛上它的！

I told your mom I’m writing this letter, and asked what she wanted me to say. She thought and said: “just ask her to take care of herself.” Simple but deeply caring – that is how your mother is, and that is why you love her so much. In this simple sentence is her hope that you will become independent in the way you take care of yourself – that you will remember to take your medicine, that you will get enough sleep, that you will have a balanced diet, that you will get some exercise, and that you will go see a doctor whenever you don’t feel good. An ancient Chinese proverb says that the most important thing to be nice to your parents is to take care of yourself. This is because your parents love you so much, and that if you are well, they will have comfort. You will understand this one day when you become a mother. But in the meantime, please listen to your mother and take care of yourself.

我告訴你媽媽我在寫這封信，問她有什麽想對你說的，她想了想，說“讓她好好照顧自己”，很簡單卻飽含著真切的關心——這一向是你深愛的媽媽的特點。這短短的一句話，是她想提醒你很多事情，比如要記得自己按時吃藥，好好睡覺，保持健康的飲食，適量運動，不舒服的時候要去看醫生等等。中國有句古語，說“身體發膚，受之父母，不敢毀傷，孝之始也”。這句話的意思用比較新的方法詮釋就是說：父母最愛的就是你，所以照顧好自己就是孝順最好的方法。當你成為母親的那天，你就會理解這些。在那天之前，聽媽媽的，你一定要好好照顧自己。

College is the four years where you have:
• the greatest amount of free time
• the first chance to be independent
• the most flexibility to change
• the lowest risk for making mistakes
So please treasure your college years – make the best of your free time, become an independent thinker in control of your destiny, evolve yourself into a bi-cultural talent, be bold to experiment, learn and grow through your successes and challenges.
大學是你自由時間最多的四年。
大學是你第一次學會獨立的四年。
大學是可塑性最強的四年。
大學是犯錯代價最低的四年。
所以，珍惜你的大學時光吧，好好利用你的空閑時間，成為掌握自己命運的獨立思考者，發展自己的多元化才能，大膽地去嚐試，通過不斷的成功和挑戰來學習和成長，成為融匯中西的人才。

When I faced the greatest challenge and opportunity in my life in 2005, you gave me a big hug and said “bonne chance”, which means “good luck” and “good courage”. Now I do the same for you. Bonne chance, my angel and princess. May Columbia become the happiest four years in your life, and may you blossom into just what you dream to be.
當我在2005年麵對人生最大的挑戰時，你給了我大大的擁抱，還跟我說了一句法語“bonne chance”。這句話代表“祝你勇敢，祝你好運！”現在，我也想跟你說同樣的話，bonne chance，我的天使和公主，希望哥倫比亞成為你一生中最快樂的四年，希望你成為你夢想成為的人！

Love,
Dad (& Mom)
愛你的，
爸爸（和媽媽）

所有跟帖： 

• 抄下來了，以後給我女兒。~ -heka- ♀ (0 bytes) () 10/22/2009 postreply 00:34:54

• 收藏起來哈~~ -fifibobo- ♀ (0 bytes) () 10/22/2009 postreply 02:35:50

• "教育的真諦就是當你忘記一切所學到的東西之後所剩下的東西" -newXoD- ♂ (0 bytes) () 10/22/2009 postreply 02:59:22

• "生命太短暫了，你不能過別人想要你過的生活。掌控自己的生命是很棒的感覺" -newXoD- ♂ (0 bytes) () 10/22/2009 postreply 03:01:19

• 您說得太有哲理了~~ -fifibobo- ♀ (0 bytes) () 10/22/2009 postreply 04:01:09

• 我還沒修煉到這個境界，從李開複那裏抄的 -newXoD- ♂ (0 bytes) () 10/22/2009 postreply 04:39:49

• 李開複是誰？ -雪映梅花- ♀ (0 bytes) () 10/22/2009 postreply 12:56:19

• google 中國前總裁？ -heka- ♀ (0 bytes) () 10/22/2009 postreply 13:22:29

• 我把這信給邊上的女兒看，想做個測試看看她怎麽反應 -雪映梅花- ♀ (1028 bytes) () 10/22/2009 postreply 13:37:44

• 不期望孩子有所成就，隻望孩子不要成為社會的負擔！ -polarzone- ♂ (46 bytes) () 10/22/2009 postreply 13:50:56

• 是哦，我們這代人背了這麽多負擔，何不讓孩子輕鬆點呢 -雪映梅花- ♀ (0 bytes) () 10/22/2009 postreply 14:06:19

• 一家有一家的教育方式。不過我奇怪，家信怎麽就公開了呢？ -說誰誰- ♀ (0 bytes) () 10/22/2009 postreply 17:47:13

• 沒什麽奇怪的。李開複的很多信是公開的 -newXoD- ♂ (50 bytes) () 10/22/2009 postreply 18:20:10

• 既然信要公開，感覺開始就不像是給自己孩子寫的。 -polarzone- ♂ (26 bytes) () 10/23/2009 postreply 11:12:51

• 本來就在網上公開了，including給自己孩子寫的。 -newXoD- ♂ (36 bytes) () 10/23/2009 postreply 22:46:51

• 你會把家信，私人郵件等等都放到網上去嗎？ -說誰誰- ♀ (0 bytes) () 10/24/2009 postreply 10:07:26

• 沒有說這是家信或私人郵件？寫給某某人的公開信不是也是經常有的事嗎？ -newXoD- ♂ (196 bytes) () 10/24/2009 postreply 20:30:56