再讀《簡·愛》（下）

來源: 倚門回首於 2010-12-15 07:10:20 [檔案] [博客] [舊帖] [給我悄悄話] 閱讀數 : (9947 bytes)

簡出走後，一路輾轉，風餐露宿，沿途乞討，曆盡磨難，如果說肉體受凍挨餓還可以忍受，心靈的失望、焦慮、以及對羅切斯特的擔憂卻難以排遣，於是躺在曠野的夜晚，簡"rose to my knees" (起身跪著），她望著夜空，感受著上帝的造物，為羅切斯特先生祈禱：

“夜已降臨，她的星座已升起：平安寧靜的夜；安寧得與恐懼無緣。我們知道上帝無處不在，但當祂的勞作壯麗地展現在我們麵前時，我們最能感受到祂的存在：無雲的夜晚，祂的宇宙悄然滾滾運行的空中，我們清楚地看到了祂的無邊無涯，祂的萬能，祂的無處不在。我已起來跪著為羅切斯特先生祈禱。抬起頭來，我淚眼朦朧地看到了浩瀚的銀河。想著銀河是什麽—那裏有無數的星係如一道微光一般掃過太空—我便感到了上帝的巨大力量。我相信有能力拯救祂的創物：更相信無論是地球，還是祂所珍愛的一個靈魂，都不會毀滅。我把祈禱的內容改為感恩：靈魂的救主也是生命的源頭。羅切斯特先生會安然無恙: 他屬於上帝，上帝會保護他。Night was come, and her planets were risen: a safe, still night; too serene for the companionship of fear. We know that God is everywhere; but certainly we feel His presence most when His works are on the grandest scale spread before us: and it is in the unclouded night-sky, where His worlds wheel their silent course, that we read clearest His infinitude, His omnipotence, His ominipresence. I had risen to my knees to pray for Mr. Rochester. Looking up, I, with tear-dimmed eyes,saw the mighty milky-way. Remembering what it was - what countless systems there swept space like a soft trace of light - I felt the might and strength of God. Sure was I of His efficiency to save what He had made: convinced I grew that neither earth should perish, nor one of the souls it treasured. I turned my prayer to thanksgiving: the Source of Life was also the Saviour of spirits. Mr.Rochester was safe: he was God's and by God would he be guarded. （Bronte “Volume II” 112-113)

簡在身心即將崩潰時，在郊外沼澤地小屋外被牧師聖約翰收留，與聖約翰的兩個妹妹住在一起，她身體逐漸恢複，立即強烈地要工作、獨立：

“告訴我如何幹活，或者如何找活幹，這就是我現在所要求的。。。”
"Show me how to work, or how to seek work: that is all I now ask..."
...
“我可以做裁縫，可以當個普通女工，若幹不了更好的活，我可以做仆人，做個護士。”
"I will be a dressmaker: I will be a plain-work-woman; I will be a servant, a nurse-girl, if I can be no better..."(Bronte“Volume II” 144-145)

教會為貧窮的孩子辦了學校，簡成了教員，在教學上她兢兢業業，很有作為。接下來的故事頗有戲劇性，不久聖約翰牧師得知簡的真名，並告知簡，他和簡原來是表兄妹，而他們共同的叔叔在外國去世後，留下巨額遺產給簡，簡一夜之間變為富人，簡將巨額分為四分，與表兄和兩位表姐平分。當地有位美麗富有的年輕女子深愛聖約翰牧師，但牧師因為要到印度傳教，而不願接受她的愛。同時，聖約翰要簡嫁給他，他認為簡有智慧，夠堅強，適合到艱難的印度為神做工，適合做傳教士的太太。簡不願嫁給自己的表兄，她說，“我可以去印度為神做工，但隻能做你的妹妹，不做你的太太，因為我們並不相愛。”固執己見的聖約翰仍不放棄，終於，簡勉強答應了，當晚她心神不寧：

“那根蠟燭隨即將滅：屋內灑滿了月光。我的心咚咚跳得厲害：我聽見了心的搏動聲。突然一種難言的感覺使我的心為之震顫，並立即蜂擁到我的頭腦與四肢。。。
   我什麽也沒有看到：可是我聽見一個聲音在某個地方呼喚—
   “簡！簡！簡！”
    。。。這是一個人的聲音 —一個熟悉、愛切、記憶猶新的聲音—愛德華·費爾費斯·羅切斯特的聲音；這聲音痛徹心扉，那麽狂亂、怪異、焦急。
    “我來了！”我叫道。“等等我！噢，我這就來！”我飛跑到門邊，向走廊裏望去：一片漆黑，我衝進花園，空空如也。
The one candle was dying out: the room was full of moonlight. My heart beat fast and thick: I heard its throb. Suddenly it stood still to an inexpressible feeling that thrilled it through, and passed at once to my head and extremities......
I saw nothing: but I heard a voice somewhere cry --
"Jane!Jane!Jane!"
...And it was the voice of a human being - a known, loved, well-remembered voice - that of Edward Fairfax Rochester; and it spoke in pain and woe wildly, eerily, urgently.
"I am coming!" I cried. "Wait for me! Oh, I will come!" I flew to the door, and looked into the passage: it was dark. I ran into the garden: it was void.（Bronte“Volume II” 239-240)

第二天早上聖約翰獨自去了印度作傳教士。簡也風塵仆仆地長途跋涉返回鬆費德莊園，可是到達之後，眼前卻是斷垣頹壁。不久簡了解到，羅切斯特的瘋太太放火燒了莊園，又墜樓身亡，羅切斯特也因此受傷而雙眼失明。簡找到羅切斯特，兩人互訴衷腸，終結連理。羅切斯特向簡講述了他失明後的心靈曆程：

“簡！我敢說，你以為我是一條不敬上帝的狗吧：可是我對世間仁慈的上帝滿懷感激之心。祂看事物跟人不一樣，祂要看得清楚得多：他判斷事物跟人不一樣，比人要明智得多。我做錯了：我本要糟蹋無邪的花兒—把罪孽帶給無辜：但上帝將她從我身邊搶走。我頑固地對抗，險些要咒罵來處理問題：我不是俯首聽命，而是背道而馳。神的審判照舊運行；大禍重重而降：我被迫走過死蔭的幽穀。上帝的懲罰嚴厲；他強大的一擊讓我永遠謙卑。。。。最近我在厄運中開始看到並承認上帝之手。我開始了自責和懺悔；情願聽從造物主。我有時開始祈禱：禱告雖短，但很誠懇。"Jane! you think me, I daresay, an irreligious dog: but my heart swells with gratitude to the beneficent God of this earth just now. He sees not as man sees, but far clearer: judges not as man judges, but far more wisely. I did wrong: I would have sullied my innocent flower - breathed guilt on its purity: the Omnipotent snatched it from me. I, in my stiff-necked rebellion, almost cursed the dispensation: instead of bending to the decree, I defied it. Divine justice pursued its course; disasters came thick on me: I was forced to pass through the valley of the shadow of death. His chastisements are mighty; and one smote me which has humbled me for ever......I began to see and acknowledge the hand of God in my doom. I began to experience remorse, repentance; the wish for reconcilement to my Maker. I began sometimes to pray: very brief prayers they were, but very sincere." (Bronte“Volume II” 275 )

羅切斯特談到某個夜晚他祈禱後的經曆（正是簡聽到他呼喚自己的那個夜晚）：

“我祈求上帝。。。我在自己的房間，坐在窗邊，窗口開著：清幽的夜風沁人心脾；雖然看不見星星，但從模糊發亮的霧氣中，知道月亮的存在。我盼著你，珍妮特！噢，無論是靈魂還是肉體，我都盼望著你！我痛苦又謙卑地問上帝，我受盡了淒涼、痛苦、折磨，是不是已經夠久了；會不會很快能再嚐幸福與安寧。我承認我所忍受的是應得的 — 我認識到，我實在不堪重負了，我祈求；心內的全部願望不由自主地溢到嘴唇，是這幾個字——“簡！簡！簡！”...I supplicated God... I was in my own room, and sitting by the window, which was open: it soothed me to feel the balmy night-air; though I could see no stars and only by a vague, luminous haze, knew the presence of a moon. I longed for thee, Janet! Oh, I longed for thee both with soul and flesh! I asked of God, at once in anguish and humility, if I had not been long enough desolate, afflicted, tormented; and might not soon taste bliss and peace once more. That I merited all I endured, I acknowledged - that I could scarcely endure more, I pleated; and the alpha and omega of my heart's wishes broke involuntarity from my lips, in the words -- 'Jane!Jane!Jane!'"(Bronte“Volume II”276-277)

　上帝垂聽了羅切斯特真切的懺悔與禱告，成全了他們的婚姻。簡與羅切斯特美滿生活開始了，書的結尾，提到他們已經幸福結婚10年了。。。

實際生活中，勃朗特姐妹和兄弟的健康都不佳，1848年9月她們的兄弟Branwell (布朗威爾)死於肺結核，享年31歲。三個月後，Emily (艾米莉)也因肺結核離世，享年30歲。兩個星期之後，小妹妹Anne(安妮)被診斷患有同樣的疾病。安妮最想再看一次斯卡布羅的大海，但是直到第二年5月下旬才啟程。夏洛蒂陪伴在安妮身邊，1849年5月25日，她們到達斯卡布羅，三天後，安妮病逝。

夏洛蒂是三姐妹中唯一結了婚的。她父親的助理牧師尼可拉斯(Nicholls)長期追求夏洛蒂，尼克爾斯跟隨了勃朗特牧師八年，他的求婚使夏洛蒂與她父親都感到驚訝。勃朗特牧師拒絕了，其中原因是他認為女兒身體太虛弱而不可能懷孕。同時夏洛蒂也謝絕了求婚，雖然夏洛蒂尊重尼可拉斯的品德和學識，她感覺尼可拉斯過於古板而拒絕他的追求。然而，尼克爾斯沒有退縮，在他堅持不懈的追求下，終於慢慢地贏得了夏洛蒂的芳心，他們在 1854年6月29日結成了夫婦。婚姻生活幸福。但婚後不到一年，1855年3月31日，夏洛蒂在懷孕初期得肺結核而英年早逝，年僅39歲。

勃朗特三姐妹的人生雖短暫，但她們的文學作品在英國，以及世界都有一席之地；她們筆下的人物，如簡·愛(Jane Eyer)，羅切斯特(Rochester)，《呼嘯山莊》(Wuthering Heights)的主人公希斯克裏夫（Heathcliff）早已家喻戶曉。如今，勃朗特一家舊居，英國霍沃思牧師寓所已成為勃朗特故居博物館（Haworth Brontë Parsonage Museum)，每年有來自世界各地的遊人到博物館參觀訪問。