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所有條件都合適H,這篇《Blue》文書可否拿下H錄取

(2022-12-07 09:45:52) 下一個

==== 先了解 Stats 和 ECs ====

School Grades: All As

ACT: 33 only once

ECs: Multi-year Pianist and Euphonist, Started Model UN, Volunteered in Kids Tutor Center, Founded Art & Politics Club...

Recs: Strong from teachers

Personality described by others: A Quiet, Confident Leader Behind The Scene

Demog: Female Western Asian First Gen Immigrant, London, Parents working in long hours

Apply for: Harvard and Oxford in 2016

 

==== 再讀《Blue Essay》=====

Blue.

A cold gray blue sky that signals an impending thunderstorm. Of course, my own raindrops had already started to triple down my face merging with the strangely hot water that continued to sweep over my body like a relentless tart. As the steam continued to rise, my glass shower door formed an ever-thickening barrier of misty blue for between my thoughts and reality, a reality that to me seemed incomprehensible distorted.

“What’s wrong with you?” I thought to myself. The words stung as they charged through my mind, leaving an exhaustive trail of potential responses.

Singing, I suspended the flow of hot water and slid the glass door open destroying the comforting haze and returning to the reality I couldn’t about to face. The bathroom was still steamy as I walked to the mirror and wipe the translucent skin that had formed over it. I would inevitably force myself to look up in the reflection a pair of bloodshot eyes staring back tiredly. Set in a withered face, I saw weakness anxiety but, worst of all, complete despair. Upon this realization, I turned the faucet on and disguised my quiet sobs beneath the sound of flowing water.

I can’t quantify the duration of my feeling blue like a thunderstorm. I could not tell whether there would be another surprise downpour or flash of cool lightening. Suddenly the wild was a scary place. Humans could turn on each other and were capable of wickedness even I could not imagine. Even those who had known my entire life, my closest friends, siblings, and my parents, all possessed this potential hurt.

How could I fix the world? I couldn’t. What could I do? I could leave where I could never answer the last question. But, as those endless cycle of questions raced through my mind, time passed on the same way the wind propels you forward on a blustery day. The intensity of my blue moments started to blur into bustle of my life. Conversations with my closest friends helped me to find some solace, though I felt numbed rather than appeased.

Then on a school trip to London I found myself talking to a classmate I’d lost touch with years ago. Though the day was scattered with slight awkwardness after our four-year hiatus, museums grew closer once more. Weeks later, she made a star-song revelation to me. She too felt blue. She wept at home and felt helpless. She didn’t know what to do — she was lost.

I realised I could help her. We were together in this thunderstorm, both lost in need of refuge. I shared my own experience with her and we sat for hours, reminiscing and dissecting those cold solitary moments. We found ourselves crying, sighing, and even laughing hysterically at our thoughts, which now materializing the sentences seemed foreign and weak.

“Thank you!” Sha said, embracing me in a hug that reminded me of the carefree days of youth when sun shone warmly on our backs. We had each other then, and we still had each other now.

“Everything will be fine.” I responded and for the first time in a while I meant it. As we plotted ways, I couldn’t help but feel a strange sensation come over me. I felt the blue haze that had settled into the corners of my life waning. It had never occurred to me that the balloons a part of me I had always suppressed could actually bring happiness.

In that moment, I understood that had I not experienced such a deep blow, I wouldn’t be able to help a friend in dire need. These experiences were part of my identity and they made me stronger. It struck me that every cloud has a silver lining and rainbows could only form in the presence of sunlight and rain.  

 

讀完,誰來說說,這文書怎麽樣?H能錄嗎?O能錄嗎?

原文作者是誰,錄沒錄,隨後揭曉!I will disclose the author and her admission result later.

• 謝謝分享。對文書完全沒有研究。感覺太過籠統,看完印象並不深刻。 -gossipgirl8♀ 給 gossipgirl8 發送悄悄話 gossipgirl8 的博客首頁 gossipgirl8 的個人群組 (45 bytes) (22 reads) 12/07/2022 postreply 09:56:11

• 我帖了很多,歡迎提意見 -賈平凸♂ 給 賈平凸 發送悄悄話 賈平凸 的博客首頁 賈平凸 的個人群組 (0 bytes) (4 reads) 12/07/2022 postreply 09:57:43

• 致- avw - -賈平凸♂ 給 賈平凸 發送悄悄話 賈平凸 的博客首頁 賈平凸 的個人群組 (379 bytes) (96 reads) 12/07/2022 postreply 10:03:34

• 我本人不在意你是否侵權。但是如果你要標榜自己是遵紀守法的,我就要指出讓你看看 -avw♀ 給 avw 發送悄悄話 avw 的個人群組 (0 bytes) (8 reads) 12/07/2022 postreply 10:08:50

• 我標榜的是我對文書研究的興趣 -賈平凸♂ 給 賈平凸 發送悄悄話 賈平凸 的博客首頁 賈平凸 的個人群組 (236 bytes) (37 reads) 12/07/2022 postreply 10:14:03

• 還有個法律問題問問您 -賈平凸♂ 給 賈平凸 發送悄悄話 賈平凸 的博客首頁 賈平凸 的個人群組 (104 bytes) (35 reads) 12/07/2022 postreply 10:16:56

• AO得有多少耐心才能把這個看下去啊,得熬到了第7段才明白這娃想說什麽。 -windyLL♀ 給 windyLL 發送悄悄話 windyLL 的個人群組 (0 bytes) (6 reads) 12/07/2022 postreply 10:18:05

• 放這一起說吧,你貼的那篇韓國女孩的,文筆流暢,但是第一句話(象聲詞)就把人turn off,很多小中男也喜歡以象聲詞開場 -windyLL♀ 給 windyLL 發送悄悄話 windyLL 的個人群組 (223 bytes) (95 reads) 12/07/2022 postreply 10:20:50

• Good point! -賈平凸♂ 給 賈平凸 發送悄悄話 賈平凸 的博客首頁 賈平凸 的個人群組 (51 bytes) (52 reads) 12/07/2022 postreply 10:32:50

• 那,H 能錄不? -賈平凸♂ 給 賈平凸 發送悄悄話 賈平凸 的博客首頁 賈平凸 的個人群組 (0 bytes) (3 reads) 12/07/2022 postreply 10:34:16

• 第一代大學生, 被H錄了不奇怪。 -eclubs♀ 給 eclubs 發送悄悄話 eclubs 的博客首頁 eclubs 的個人群組 (32 bytes) (12 reads) 12/07/2022 postreply 12:06:00

• 您的眼光很好。但Y根本沒申。Oxford都沒錄。H錄了,但不是用的這篇文書 -賈平凸♂ 給 賈平凸 發送悄悄話 賈平凸 的博客首頁 賈平凸 的個人群組 (211 bytes) (26 reads) 12/07/2022 postreply 12:10:36

• 喜歡這一篇。我覺得H能錄。雖然stats並不是最強的,但是西亞應該有優勢。 -60MPH♀ 給 60MPH 發送悄悄話 60MPH 的個人群組 (0 bytes) (0 reads) 12/07/2022 postreply 12:11:31

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大家對這篇的評價:喜歡文字的1/5,喜歡申請的2/5

揭曉:這篇不夠H,至少作者自己是這麽覺得的。所以她在臨提交前重寫了一篇堅持要養寵物貓和堅持留美讀大學的主題,並果斷換下了上麵這篇。結果,她在RD段拿下了哈佛。她的Harvard admission file裏的Overall 評分是2+, 這個評分的人有65%的錄取率

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