一朵浪花
信馬由韁
Contents
昨天(18日)在880/brokaw 附近高速路天橋上一個人跳下來了，18日一個印度裔男子自殺，16日一個自殺. 另兩人族裔未知。
我們傷感生命的流逝。更加警覺我們應該做些什麽使我們的Teen 更好的麵對壓力。
Teen從童話世界出來，慢慢接近真實的成人世界。狼來了。
可能來自父母：“Don’t disappoint me, clean up, hurry up, finish this, do your homework, go out for the team, practice your music, try out for the school play, do your best, stay out of trouble, make more friends, don’t ever try drugs”
來自朋友：“How’d you do on the test, try this, prove you’re not a loser, don’t hang out with them, don’t wear that”
甚至來自自己：“I need to lose weight, build my muscles, wear the right clothes, get better grades, score more goals, show my parents I’m not a kid anymore.”
可能：
- Watching parents argue
- Figuring out how to be independent
- Feeling pressure to get good grades
- Thinking about the future
- Being pressured to do something you know is bad for you, like smoking
- Not being good enough at sports
- Worrying about how your body’s changing
- Dealing with sexual feelings
- Worrying about neighborhood or world problems
- Feeling guilty
(above from ref5)
挫折教育就是Fostering Resilience, 或者 Stress Inoculation。 其理論基礎如下，“A series of studies on animals indicated that small and brief exposure to stressors can contribute to the development of repair mechanisms that protect against the impact of subsequent, more“
intense stressors (Calabrese & Baldwin, 2002).“（ref1）
“In both medical and attitudinal inoculations, a person’s resistance is enhanced by exposure to a stimulus strong enough to arouse defenses and coping processes without being so powerful that it overwhelms the individual.” (ref1)
我們可以 有意識的讓孩子接受一定程度的輕微的，不真正傷害的挫折（各方麵定義），讓孩子的生理，心理都作適度的調整。“based upon deliberate and controlled exposure to stress，increase stress tolerance by deliberately using intermittent intervals of stress exposure, oscillating with periods of recovery and rest。”（ref4）
“exercise stress should oscillate, so that they resemble the up-and-down of stresses in real life. The intermittent stresses should be intense to the point of discomfort, but never painful. And the use of intervening periods of “active rest” and sleep are equally important for recharging.”(ref4)
“research indicating that, whereas chronic, sustained stress leads to depletion of the stress hormone norepinephrine and elevation of cortisol, intermittent acute stress, followed by recovery, allows for increased tolerance and resistance to norepinephrine depletion.”(ref4)
“讓孩子及早懂得“失敗是生活的組成部分”這個道理。倘若不去引導孩子，便是讓他在一種虛假的、破壞性的優越氛圍中長大成人，認為自己的孩子完美無缺而加以 溺愛是不足取的。我們和自己的孩子都必須學會以失敗為師。每一次我們付出努力而沒能成功時，我們都可以從中得到一些對我們本身和我們的行動方式具有寶貴價 值的教益。掌握對待失敗的能力，是成長和成熟的一項重要內容。我們日常生活中會聽到“久病成醫”，久病的人已經能成為醫生，經常接受挫折和失敗的磨煉，在 心智和耐力方麵的鍛煉已經足以使我們抵抗任何“病菌”的侵襲。讓孩子知道要是希望忘記挫折和過去，就不要怨天尤人，而要做些實際工作。在成長的過程中，每 天都經受一點小挫折的人，經過多年的磨煉，會具備一種在困境中生存的能力。無論出現什麽樣的災難，他們都不會像茅草屋遇到暴風雨時那樣容易被摧垮。” (ref8)
STRESS IS THE STIMULUS FOR ALL GROWTH
“我們在培養孩子麵對各種挫折的同時，一定要給孩子關於生命的教育，珍愛我們的生命，享受人生中的起起落落，不斷感悟人生、充實生命。” (ref8)
"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get" -Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump.
作為父母，需要多陪伴孩子，使孩子感覺到愛。記住，Teen brain theory 說判斷控製部分最晚發展成熟。光靠說道理，理智的為孩子安排未來，孩子未必能夠理解。因為他們的brain is not in that stage yet. 所以更多的靠他們能夠接受理解的方式，擁抱，告訴他們父母愛他們，花時間和他們在一起，，。 當孩子受到挫折，困難，苦惱，他們能夠來找父母談，或者父母能夠觀察到。就能夠幫助孩子渡過。
很多事情可以做，鼓勵孩子enjoying life and living life to the fullest. （ref10）
“Be a go-giver, not just a go-getter. Sure it’s nice to accomplish things and make lots of money. In fact, it’s really nice. But that’s not enough for anybody to feel extraordinary for the long-term. What gives you fulfillment is doing things beyond yourself, contributing to others and the world around you.
Be happy person. This sounds over-simplistic, but happiness is always a choice. Suffering NEVER comes from your external conditions. Suffering always comes from the meaning you give things. Just be aware that unhappiness only comes from your own thoughts. Be aware of this and you’ll spend much more time enjoying life and living life to the fullest.” (ref10)
加州得天獨厚，我們有上帝賜予的禮物，陽光，可以 fight stress. 我們需要做的，就是 叫孩子每天做15分鍾室外活動。
研究發現“levels of serotonin—a neurotransmitter that regulates appetite, sleep, memory, and mood—are lower during the winter than the summer.“
” More sunlight meant better moods; less sunlight lead to symptoms of depression.“
“Going outside for 15 minutes at the same time every day, preferably in the morning, tells your body that it’s no longer nighttime. Sunlight that’s unhindered by sunglasses will reach the brain’s pineal gland more easily and signal it to stop releasing melatonin.“ (ref7)
“Exposing your skin to the sun to get vitamin D enhances your mood and energy. Generally, a little bit of sun exposure is linked to a better mood, while tanners commonly report feeling more relaxed than non-tanners. One research study showed that β-endorphins increase after sun exposure, and β-endorphins make you feel good!” (ref11)
在太陽底下不要時間過長。
Ref1: http://melissainstitute.org/documents/stress_inoculation.pdf
Ref2: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_toughness
Ref4: http://gettingstronger.org/2010/01/toughness-training/
Ref5: http://www.fosteringresilience.com/what_is_stress.php
Ref6: http://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/features/what-stress-does-to-body
Ref7: http://www.healthline.com/health/depression/benefits-sunlight
Ref8: http://edu.people.com.cn/n/2013/1230/c122736-23980358.html?from=groupmessage&isappinstalled=0
Ref9: http://www.ferris.edu/colleges/university/eccc/positive-mindset.htm
Ref10: http://www.wikihow.com/Live-Life-to-the-Fullest
Ref11: https://www.vitamindcouncil.org/health-conditions/depression/
