我的抑鬱症狀

有網友問我的抑鬱症有沒有經過醫生診斷，算有和沒有吧。我沒有做過物理檢查，但看過Psychiatrist, 幾年前和她聊過幾次。都不記得她是怎麽診斷的我，反正給我開了藥，我按一半的劑量吃了兩天就痛苦的不行，像要死了一般，physically非常地難受。然後她就說我程度不深不需要吃藥，但和她聊了幾次也沒什麽幫助，她建議我去看Psychotherapist，當時沒去，一個是太貴，再就是突然找到了工作，感覺馬上好了一些，就放棄治療了。

我的症狀大體如下 （已經持續如此八九年了，但程度時輕時重）

1。不開心，幾乎每天都不開心。 雖然有有趣的事情還是會哈哈大笑，但沒事的時候總感到心裏沉甸甸的。
2。拖延症。事情總是拖到最後一分鍾才做，腦子裏時刻想著這件事，被這件事困擾，感到焦慮，但就是行動不了，我跟老公說就是四肢不聽腦子使喚了。
3。上網成癮。剛開始的時候能在電腦前坐上幾個小時不動，有的時候上網到深夜兩三點，在網上點來點去，最後都不知道要看什麽了，但還是不想去睡覺。
4。不愛社交，怕見人。外人可能感覺不到，那是因為我硬撐著，但實際情況是一要參加聚會什麽的就很緊張，找各種理由能不去就不去。
5。睡眠不好，胃不好，皮膚出過幾次濕疹。
6。疑病症。整天感覺身體這兒不舒服，那兒不舒服，做了檢查又沒有什麽情況。但身體是真的感覺不舒服。
7。敏感。對別人的眼色，語氣，話語都敏感，總是受害者形象。

最嚴重的幾年是07－10年。10年實在撐不下去了，才去看了醫生，否則就整天在家跟老公哭，吵，鬧。最感激的是老公沒有嫌棄我，沒有把我當神經病看，現在想想他當時也是很鬱悶的吧。

這兩年以上的症狀都輕微了許多，雖然造成我憂鬱的因素都還一樣不少地存在。可能和上一份工作有關，也可能和學了一些中醫知識有關，也可能和讀了一些靈修的文章有關，也可能和星座天象有關，不知道。隻知道自己好像漸漸有了一點力量，去做一些正麵點的事情與思考。

[mamaxigua]

看心理治療師，加運動和瑜伽，頭部按摩。我堅決不吃藥。現好了大半。你筆名起的真搞笑。

[Emalee]

Where are you? if you are in the Bay Area, I have good therapist/psychiatrist to recommend. Good luck. take care and feel better soon.

[Babk2011]

我很同情你的處境，也略微能懂得你的感受。你所說的症狀我也有體驗，但是沒有當作＂抑鬱＂來＂治＂，而是調整了一下生活。也在此供你參考。
1、參加體育活動。可以從去gym開始，最好剛開始的時侯有一個健身教練一起，可以幫助你建立鍛煉的習慣。
2、做冥想(meditation)或叫內觀。有一個基本上全球主要國家都有分點的冥想group, Vipassana, 在網上查一下你所在國家的分點。
我們每個人在生命的某個階段會困惑，會失去方向。藥物並不是最好的治療，除非病入膏肓的時侯。

[joe-dfw]

I agree "Anti-depressant is not the ultimate answer to depression". However, to find a good counseler/psychologist is equally difficult. It may take well over 6 months of theropy. The mistake could be very costly.
Keep writing. It is the less risk of theropy method. If you go to church, there are some programs may help you, such as Stephen Ministry. Only a few big churches offer this program. It is free, and the ministers have your benefits as their only goal.

[joe-dfw]

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[潔心]

I am sorry that you are depressed and I imagine although you have been feeling better, it probably is still an ongoing struggle dealing with all of these symptoms.

If you don't mind me being honest here. I must say that it is unfortunate that you haven't sought out the assistance of a psychotherapist due to cost. Although it is expensive to see a therapist, I am wondering how much your emotional well-being is worth to you. Judging by what you have shared in your blog articles, you have suffered much and your husband has probably suffered along with you due to your depression. Do you not think that you deserve the help of a professional who can potentially help to alleviate or shorten the length of your suffering instead of trying to go at it alone and end up prolonging it?

Of course, some people are able to heal from depression all by themselves. But if you have been suffering from it for such a long time and it affects your family, why not try to get some outside assistance?

I understand that it is hard to be motivated to do much when you are depressed and it is very easy to talk yourself out of doing things that can actually help you. But I would still like to encourage you to seek professional help, not just for your own sake, but your family's sake. Family members especially spouses are affected even though they are not the one with depression.

Anti-depressant is not the ultimate answer to depression. Some would like to think so, however, they neglect to notice that human beings are more than biological beings, we also happen to be mental and emotional beings. Anti-depressant addresses the biological dimension of an issue (assuming that it is indeed the origin of the issue to begin with). Unfortunately, it never teaches you life skills, perceptions and cognitions. To learn life skills and new ways of perceiving and thinking about situations and issues, many people need someone outside of themselves in order to help them to see their blind spots that block the pathway to peace and a sense of normalcy.