chest pain and brief reflection

I have patient with chest pain almost everyweek and I know exactly what to do when it happens to patients. Immediately, CXR, cardiac enzymes, EKG, etc. However, I  may lose my mind when it occured to myself.
 
Last Thursday I suddenly felt that I was having some dull pain at the left chest. I didn't know when it started, but I just noted it when I sat down after I finished rounding my patient. There are two possibilities--either my new bra was too tight, or I was having heart attck. I was upset I didn't know how to handle my own chest pain. I chose to watch it.

I got home keeping thinking about what if-----. What if I was having a heart attack? What if I only have several days or hours left in my life. When I got home. I put my kids on my lap and hugged them as long as they wanted. I read them a book and listen to the music as they always requested but refused mostly by me.  I had a stupid argument with my husband that night before. It usually took me days to relax and talked to him gently. That night i just became tender instead of being stuborn.
 
I slowed down and spent the night as it was my last one.