我為什麽那麽容易發怒？

今天一天都心情低落，恍惚得很，難以工作。這都是緣於昨天晚上的風暴。我對我自己的壞脾氣感到非常失望，也對傷害父母的情感到愧疚。我的壞脾氣是不是真的不可救藥了？

 

昨晚，我們去參加老公的公司的聖誕PARTY。由於不能帶小孩，我把西西從幼兒園接回來後，隻好把他放在家裏，讓爸媽看著。（他們幫我看老二）。誰知我們回來後，一進門，媽媽就告狀，說西西把一包爆米花都塞到沙發裏去了。我一看，客廳的地上到處是POPCORN。天那，我那套意大利真皮沙發上，不僅油跡斑斑，用手一摸，墊子下全塞進了一把一把的爆米花！墊子是拿不下來的，這算毀了！我的聲音對著爸媽高了起來。我不明白，他們為什麽不STOP他？這麽多顯然不是一下子就能塞進去的。劈裏啪啦，我越說越氣。又把西西抓過來，狠打了幾下屁股。屋子裏立刻鬼哭狼嚎。父母看著我打西西，就更氣了，一路吵著“讓我們回去，不在這兒受罪”氣上樓去。

 

我為什麽那麽容易發怒？Where does my anger come from? Google到這樣一篇-

“People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.

What makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.

Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.”

過去的已經過去，研究什麽原因導致了我的易怒性格意義不大。重要得是尋求改變。看看網上各種各樣的anger management 信息，就知道有多少人在尋求幫助。我也是身在其中，而且是desperate的一個。長久以來，易怒的個性，不僅傷害著家人，也傷害著我自己。我痛恨它！我的計劃是，1.心裏常常禱告，希望神改變我。2.公司的EAP可以用來見心理醫生，我要約一個appointment, 試試心理治療 .3. 看self help的書，比如：Stop anger, be Happy 。我給自己3個月的時間，到時候，再來匯報結果。大家有什麽好的治療辦法的，請SHARE.先謝了。

[princessannie]

I have a short temper too, however, I know that's related to my unhappy marriage. Therefore, unless that's fixed, I don't think this can go away. Yes, depression definitely make it worse.

[Yuga]

Not long ago I attended a workshop on how to improve EQ, "anger management" was one of my focues.

According to the principles learnt from that workshop, the idea that "過去的已經過去，研究什麽原因導致了我的易怒性格意義不大" is not appropriate. On the contrary, it's recommanded to first get to the real root of the your anger and its pattern. Take what you said as an example, is it really worth to make such a big fuss about some popcorns in the sofa? Anything positive at all comes out of your burst of anger at all? ...

Besides, depression could be a common cause of anger as well. http://www.beyondblue.org.au/

Look forward to hearing some positive change in three months.