歌友會

當清風送來一抹草籽的芬芳,我驀然忘了憂,歡天喜地起來。
正文

Dictionary for women-ZT

(2008-06-29 23:55:58) 下一個

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally.....

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

雖然這是站在男人角度來諷刺我們女同胞的,但不能不說有些地方真的是一針見血啊。
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評論
歌兒 回複 悄悄話 嗯,這裏麵有些真是挺幽默的,好像有人說過,幽默來自真實的生活。

個人的favouriate: Athletic - No tits
哈哈哈!
老鍋餅 回複 悄悄話 有一些真是so true啊,娃哈哈!歌兒最近更新的很勤奮,我們有福了 :)----至頂!
暖暖的 回複 悄悄話 有一些真是so true啊,娃哈哈!歌兒最近更新的很勤奮,我們有福了 :)
珊瑚礁 回複 悄悄話 hiahiahia,是有夠絕滴!
笑死!
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