寫作訓練來自summercamp

再談寫作（一）文字的訓練是基礎 [引用]兒子4年紀，今年正式學寫作。今天拿回了一些work sheet，我大概看了一遍，對老師們細致地教寫作的過程還是頗有感觸的，特意把這些work sheet的內容寫出來和大家分享。因為內容很多，我隻能摘要一些，再加一些兒子的練習便於理解。一次不能完成，我還是寫個係列吧。今天先寫文字的訓練。我以為寫作就是教怎麽寫文章，開頭，中間，結尾，其實不然，寫作要從用詞開始。實際上也好理解，要蓋房子先備磚。1）寫作首先是文字的訓練，學習用 high vocabulary，不用簡單的詞。例如簡單的顏色的詞，yellow， blue等是preschool word，寫作要用college colors,如bule有azure，indigo，purple是plum，fuchsia，lavender，magenta，lilac。白色是ashen，ivory，綠色是chartreuse，olive等等大概20幾個詞吧。下麵是兒子的練習要求：Use vivid vocabulary to describe a sunset at beachI was watching the sunset from our vacation house. The wavy clear ocean licking the golden sand. On the calm quiet beach nobody was walking. The white seagulls hovering above the vacation house. It was the most perfect sunset ever.這是寫作的第一節課，可以看出孩子的vivid vocabulary還不夠豐富，整個一年的寫作就是圍繞著vivid vocabulary做文章，看到最後你會發現，經過老師的訓練，孩子還是很有進步的。2）文字遊戲 alliterations 合轍押韻例如 The clouds moved like wispy waves across the sky.其中wispy waves。一些經典名字也是alliterations，像Mickey Mouse， friend or foe， rough and ready等等20幾個。下麵是兒子寫的練習要求-something associated with summer，autumn，winter，spring兒子寫道 sizzling summer Saturdays，lovely leaves lying low，freezing frortg sunflowers, sunny sunflower sprout要求 Using state names, create your own alliteration sentences.一共要求寫20個，選幾個兒子寫的例子。1，Alaska's astronauts always asks about after life.2,Canada's cool cupcakes come from curious cows.3,Washington washes whales on Wednesday.3）象聲詞 Onomatopoeia例如。drip sound made by a drop of waterwhish sound made by something moving quickly through airSquek sound made by a mouse 等等20幾個詞吧兒子的練習要求：Write a paragraph using examples of OnomatopoeiaBoom!! The microwave exploded and crash!! the dished fell. Scream!!! the people were running because a hurricane was in progress. Fling!! the nails flew it was aiming my way. Then poof, the things went away and I realized it was a dream.今天先到這，明天再寫，碼字不易，還得外加查字典，累了。再談寫作（二）特殊的寫作方法 Idiom Similes Hyperbole [引用]1)Idioms:strange saying 成語 這個好理解，英語裏成語也很多，需要多讀多看。例如：fly off the handle means to lose one's temperegg on your face means embarrassedin a pickle means in troublego to bat for means defendbury the hatchet means forgive還有像 a penny for your thoughts，That's the way the cookie crumbles等等通過上下文才能理解的成語。兒子他們好像學了有50，60個成語吧。2）Similes 比喻能Striking it rich!所以非常重要。這也就不解釋了。例如 happy as a clam, thick as pea soup, mad as a wet hen, sly as a fox等等太多下麵是兒子寫的比喻的練習，選幾個有意思的。sad as a singer who lost his voicebright as day light to a vampirelaughs like a mad scientistscared as a girl in a hunted housegrows like a magic beanThe actor was nervous as a man knowing that the world is going to end.Her blue eyes are like a mixture of the ocean and the sky.Grandpa's laughter sounds like horse choking on a wrecking ball.Success tastes like a all you can eat sushi buffet.比喻的寫法非常重要，是重點。他們練了很多.還有一種比喻的寫法是直接寫成is,are.還是看看我兒子寫的練習吧。A raindrop is a miniature ocean in the sky.Mom's hug was a cup of hot chocolate.Rock music is a bad headache.The winning point was happiness bursting into fireworks.3)Hyperbole 誇張例如 It was so hot you could fry an egg on the sidewalk.The program was so boring that even the flies went to sleep.下麵是兒子寫的一些誇張的句子。He was so strong he could lift the Eiffel tower with his pinky.I was so tired I could sleep in World War 2.He was so hot with fever I could cook lasagna on his face.下一篇是擬人和感官形容詞再談寫作（三）描寫的方法 personification and sense words [引用]1） personification 擬人的寫法例如：用描寫人的動詞寫wind,可以用whisper， howl， race寫成句子就是 The wind whispered through the tree branches.看看兒子寫的練習要求：List three human actions for each item,use personification to write a sentence for each item.rain: sad, tapping, knocking, roaring, screaming句子：The rain was knocking on the windowsriver:rushing, dancing,runs句子：The river was rushing through the forest like a cheetah.waterfall: roar,rumbling,tumbles,screaming句子：The waterfall was roaring until my ears fell off.還有很多就不一一舉例了。2）Using sense words.Sense words tell how something looks, sounds,smells, feels, or tastes例如without sense words的句子是：The stars shone in the sky.with sense words就變成：Bright yellow stars sparkled against the black sky.這部分最難，就是用恰當的adjectives描寫。這部分老師強調的還是vivid vocabulary。兒子的練習要求：Write sense words to describe each onea snowflake: delicate, falling, beautifulwalnuts: nutty,hard,scrumptiousthe seashore: refreshing, relaxing, coola fish dinner: satisfying, fishy, spicyhiking boots: sharp, indestructible, hardlettuce:inedible, disgusting, vile (一看就知道我兒子討厭吃菜吧)還有很多就不一一舉例了。總之就是要寫好文章，詞是關鍵。下一篇寫擴張句子，make boring better.再談寫作（四）擴展句子 make boring better [引用]前麵學的一直是詞匯，現在開始延伸到句子。簡單的敘述句很boring，要在這些句子中加入形容詞把句子擴展開，生動化，make boring better。例如：The cat fell asleep. 很boring，把它改成 The tired cat drifted quickly off to sleep.看看兒子的練習要求：Rewrite the following sentences so that they are more interesting for readers.1)Stan jumped into the pool.Friendly daredevil Stan double front flipped into the cool relaxing crystal-clear pool and made a glamorous monstrous splash.2)My best friend is a nice person.My loyal best extraordinary amazing friend is unbelievably kind.（看了這句話我怎麽有一種誇死人不償命的感覺。）3）The dog wagged his tail.Joyous labrador wet dag happily wagged his over length furry tail and sprayed everyone with ginormous incredible amounts of water.這種練習很多，再寫幾個4）we watched the man during the jump.Everyone excitedly watched the scrawny man scared scream during the jump into a ring filled with ferocious lions.5)The sun shone in the sky.The ginormous lemon sun brightly shone in the clear blue sky creating a beautiful sight.6）Birds were in the treeNewborn birds hungrily watched as their tired mom brought back the delicious worms in the oak tree.練習還有很多，碼字不易，就寫到這，下一篇是magnify the moment.再談寫作（五）瞬間的擴展描寫 magnify the moment [引用]學完了擴展句子，老師又教了magnify the moment。我暫且把它翻譯成瞬間的擴展描寫。就是要把一瞬間或一個狀態擴展開寫，要show not tell.老師非常強調show not tell，要求寫作時要給讀者描繪什麽東西，而不是告訴他是什麽。還是用兒子寫的練習做例子吧。要求：magnify the moment 1）The pizza was delicious. 就是在文章中不能直接寫出pizza was delicious，要描繪出一個狀態，讓讀者感覺到pizza太好吃了。這就是show not tell。兒子寫道：Sticky, gooey, cheese was hanging from my lip. Tomato sauce smeared all over my face. Pizza crust was being chewed by my mouth. Boy ,this is the best thing I ever ate.2）The streets were crowded.Large gangs of people were clustered together. Billions of posters and signs were flying in the air. The sound was as loud as a helicopter. Boy,everybody had come to see this rock band.下麵這是一個標準的magnify the moment練習。要求寫那尷尬的一瞬間。記得兒子他們寫了很多這樣的練習，但我隻能找到這一個。3) As you leave the grocery store you realize that the ice cream that you just purchased melted.It is slowly sliding down your left leg! You see the cutest(boy/girl)in school coming your way!兒子繼續寫道：I was as nervous as a deer in alligator territory. My heart was racing with thoughts like "What if she sees me?" All I could think of was what to do. Ding! An idea suddenly popped into my head. As quick as a cheetah chasing his prey I bent over and lapped it up, even though everyone was glaring at me like I was a maniac."Oh no,"　I exclaimed she was coming closer! I ducked behind aisle 14 which sold glass bottles and hid behind them. Suddenly I started to itch and I reached my arm to scratch my foot. Crash!! The whole aisle of glass fell over one by one. Every spot on the crimson floor was covered minuscule shards of glass. All of the intricately cups were shattered in a million pieces! The sound could be heard 10 miles away! But then the worst part happened, She hurried over to see what the commotion was and then she saw me and the million pieces of glass. "Oops" I said my cheeks blushing. She suddenly laughed!"HA HA HA'' she giggled again then we went to the nearest amusement park and have a blast!!下一篇應該是命題作文了，終於到了寫整篇作文的時候。從開學開始到2月底，他們應該寫了20幾篇文章，平均一星期一篇吧，但是因為作文的folder放在學校裏，我沒有看到，所以這一篇可能遲一些才能寫到。下一篇我會加寫一篇心得體會。跟蹤兒子學寫作的心得 [引用]先說說我為什麽比較關注兒子的寫作。我自己是個寫作非常差的人，高中時很少能在作文課上交作業，課下費好長時間也憋不出一篇讓老師滿意的文章，寫作是我不折不扣的軟肋。而我這個兒子和我相反，從沒把寫東西看成負擔，從K開始我就看他下筆神速，還頭頭是道，我認為自己會的東西，兒子也會那是理所應當的，基因嗎.可是自己不會的，兒子比較擅長我就奇怪了，重申他爹也比我好不了哪去。所以我很感興趣，比較留意他的寫作。再回答一些媽媽的問題。我們州4年級州考有寫作，因為一篇作文需要2個老師閱卷，閱卷時間比較長，所以州考安排在2月底，從去年8月底開學持續到2月底，整整半年，學校的語文課天天教作文。所以我說是正式學寫作。我這個寫作係列和我以前寫的一些關於兒子寫作的文章都是說他在學校裏學習的事，不是校外的補習班。很多人都知道我兒子上的是家門口的公立學校的Full Time GT班，所謂的Full Time GT就是所有的功課（語文，數學，科學，社會）都是GT課程，全班都是GT生，老師是有資格的GT老師。沒見他們用過整本的資料，都是老師發的複印紙，所以我也不知道有沒有成品的參考書。言歸正傳還是說說我跟蹤兒子學寫作的心得吧。從去年8月底開學到2月底，整整半年的時間裏，兒子他們天天有寫作課，天天有練習作業，從練詞開始，擴展句子，短文（magnify the moment），命題作文，輪番上陣，把世界上的萬物萬物差不多都要寫遍了，強度之大，大家可以想象吧。麵對這麽強大的訓練，如果沒有4年級前的文字積累，是不是得抓狂。試想老師天天教導學生，寫文章要用生動的詞匯，可是如果腦子裏沒有那麽多生動詞匯，怎麽辦呢？我自己很知道那種感受，真是強人所難呀。所以寫作的基礎一定是詞匯的積累。詞匯的積累又從哪裏來呢？肯定是書中，從READING中來。下麵分享一個兒子他們班reading課的生詞表，看看對怎麽學單詞是不是有一些啟發。文章是Finding the Titanic(文章我沒有讀過，看到這個名字應該能猜到是什麽內容吧)Vocabulary wordsshipwrecks,unsinkable,voyage,steward, iceberg, distress, stern,survivors,drenched,wreckage,funnels, loomed, portholes, crow's nest plaques,monument,courageous,perseveranceIdioms1)every cloud has a silver lining2)easy as pie3)not my cup of tea4)hit the sackSimile1）As quiet as a mouseVivid verbspersevere,appease,claw,assist,grumble,hover,wince可見他們reading的時候就把詞分得很細，Vocabulary words和Vivid verbs還分開，一些特殊的寫作方法，像成語和比喻都會講到，詞匯就是這樣有秩序地積累起來的吧。我以前寫過兒子3年級的reading 單詞的貼子，有興趣的去看看吧。http://groups.wenxuecity.com/discussion.php?gid=1173&pid=224907還有一個我兒子自創的總結詞匯的方法。http://groups.wenxuecity.com/discussion.php?gid=1173&pid=226578寫作絕對是一個持續的過程，不能因為4年級才學寫作，4年級前就什麽都不做。兒子學校一，二年級的時候，練的是混合詞造句，就是把學過的單詞混合到一起寫一小段文章，訓練的應該是詞和文的結合吧。我以前貼過，沒看過的去看看吧。一年級的作文和reading 詞匯http://groups.wenxuecity.com/discussion.php?gid=1173&pid=225048二年級的作文和reading 詞匯http://groups.wenxuecity.com/discussion.php?gid=1173&pid=225237三年級的時候，學習的內容主要是以reading為主，這一點我前麵的3年級的reading 單詞的貼子裏有提到。所以大段的文章寫的不多，但還是寫了很多漫畫書，就是老師給隻有畫，沒有字的漫畫，讓孩子們自己寫漫畫中的對話。感覺強調的是趣味性和幽默感。我以前發過一篇兒子3年級寫的文章。http://groups.wenxuecity.com/discussion.php?gid=1173&pid=260580有了文字的積累和係統的訓練就能寫好文章了嗎?我感覺還少了一樣，就是寫作源於生活，話說起來有點酸，確實是這樣的，這一點將來我會在寫作係列（六）命題作文中和大家分享。據兒子講，老師要求寫一篇 time management的文章，他寫了他下chess的經曆，得了滿分6分。下棋是要用表計時的，輸贏也許就在幾秒鍾之內，真是一個time management的好例子。 還有寫一次難忘的field trip，兒子把我們全家旅遊的經曆寫了進去，也是得了滿分。生活中發生過的事情經過潤色寫出來，才有血有肉吧。說到知識的連續性，還引發一個題外話，跳級的問題。以後我會和大家分享我的看法。希望我的這些心得，能對大家有啟發。對於有寫作障礙的我來說，碼這些字太費力了。跟蹤完寫作，我也要歇歇了。附錄再談寫作（一）文字的訓練是基礎http://groups.wenxuecity.com/discussion.php?gid=1173&pid=309349再談寫作（二）特殊的寫作方法 Idiom Similes Hyperbolehttp://groups.wenxuecity.com/discussion.php?gid=1173&pid=309358再談寫作（三）描寫的方法 personification and sense wordshttp://groups.wenxuecity.com/discussion.php?gid=1173&pid=309457再談寫作（四）擴展句子 make boring betterhttp://groups.wenxuecity.com/discussion.php?gid=1173&pid=309471再談寫作（五）瞬間的擴展描寫 magnify the momenthttp://groups.wenxuecity.com/discussion.php?gid=1173&pid=309726再談寫作（六）命題作文 待續