美國孩子和老人: 不敢苟同2704

2704說 "因為孩子長大後和父母基本不在一起, 老人到了這個年紀沒人照顧. 所以有種說法是:美國是年輕人的天堂,是老年人的墓場."您遇到的超級市場的老人, 是其中一例.

因為做社工, 所以對美國老人和家庭有比較多了解.首先, 美國因為對老人有比較好的社會保障,因此對子女沒有贍養的要求,例如,低收入的老人有醫療保險和社會保障金, 如有需要還可以免費入住療養院, 用的是你我納稅人的錢.所以整個社會沒有那種風氣,認為老人應該由孩子養.見過一些孩子,因為父母當年不盡教養職責,而拒絕參與老人的一切(有時隻不過是讓他們擔任durable power of attorney而已)社會對此沒有任何異議.在中國,不撫養老人可以被告上法庭, 因為社會保障實在是太少了, 所以子女是父母最大的依靠.多少年來, 養兒防老這方麵沒有什麽變化.

在我所見,美國的成年孩子對老人照顧的程度, 有些同中國不相上下,有些子女辭了工陪父母, 在所不惜, 將父母接到家裏來的也不少, 還有將鄰居或朋友接到家裏養的呢.

在美國, 父母對孩子沒有那種 "我養了你, 你要養我"的期待, 孩子怎樣做, 全憑自己一片心.雖然老人是弱勢,但很多老人視自己的獨立為最大的財產, 不想讓別人幫.一位88歲的老人, 還在老人中心幫其他老人呢.見過一個極端的例子,一個80餘歲的老人寧願自己躺在自己的尿中,也不願讓別人幫忙清潔.

所以美國的老人未必比中國的老人慘到哪裏去, 在我看來, 他們其實滿幸福的, 當然是在仍然有自主能力時, 如果不能自主, 那在哪裏都不會幸福吧.

[靈小抓]

Good article. Compared to older Chinese people are usually taken care of by family members, there are a lot of different support systems for elderly in the American society. For example, social services, home care agencies, adult daycare, and nursing homes, as well as family members. In addition to physical care, a lot of these support systems provide healthcare, social events, regilious services, and etc which are not possible in the family setting. I believe that with the rapid economic growth in China, less and less families can afford to take care of elderly just by family members alone. Actually more and more families are hiring nannies now.

Also, it is so true that most of older American people don't want to live with their children at all. The senses of independence and integraty are very important for them to identify who they are as individuals, which is crucial for their mental health at older ages.