HerearesomesignsandnoticestranslatedtoEnglish(forourbenefit)thathavebeenrecordedfromtripsthroughouttheworld.InaTokyoHotel:
Isforbiddentostealhoteltowelsplease.Ifyouarenotapersontodosuchathingispleasenottoreadnotis.InaBucharesthotellobby:
Theliftisbeingfixedforthenextday.Duringthattimeweregretthatyouwillbeunbearable.InaLeipzigelevator:
Donotenterliftbackwards,andonlywhenlitup.InaBe...[
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LittleJohnnywasbusydoinghishomework.Ashismotherapproachedsheheard:"Oneandone,theson-of-a-bitchistwo."
"Twoandtwo,theson-of-a-bitchisfour."
"Threeandthree..."Hismotherinterrupted,askingwherehehadlearnedthiswayofdoingmath.LittleJohnnyremarkedthathisteacherhadtaughthim.Hismotherwasratherupsetandtoldhimtostopthehomework.ThenextdayshestormedintoLittleJohnny'sclassroomandconfrontedtheteacher.Lit...[
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Ifalistenernodshisheadwhenyou'reexplainingyourprogram,wakehimup.Ifamanadvancesconfidentlyinthedirectionofhisdreamstolivethelifehehasimagined,hewillmeetwithasuccessunexpectedincommonhours.-HenryDavidThoreauIfaprogramisusefulitwillbechanged,ifitisuseless,itwillbedocumented.Ifastraightlinefitisrequired,obtainonlytwodatapoints.Ifallyouhaveisahammer,everythinglookslikeanail.Ifanexperimentworks,youmustb...[
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一個肥胖的患者要求割除闌尾，後來終於找到一位高明的醫生為他主刀。當這位病人手術後蘇醒過來時，就向醫生詢問病情。
“你的情況很好。”醫生告訴他。
“但是，醫生，”病人說，“我有點不明白，我的嗓子痛得厲害，這是為什麽？”
“好，”醫生說，“我告訴你，你的病情很特別，因此，我的許多同事都來看我動手術。當手術做完後，他們向我喝彩。為了[
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AbusiveWhat'sthematter,stupid,don'tyouknowtheanswer?AmbivalenceWell,itcouldbeyesanditcouldbeno.AmnesiaIforget.AntipathyYouwouldhavetoaskmethat.AmorousIlovethewayyouaskthatquestion.ApathyIdon'tcare.ApologeticI'msorrythatyouhavetoaskmethat.ArgumentativeAreyoulookingforafight?AuthoritarianI'lltellyouwhenyoucanaskmequestions!BigotryI'mnotgoingtotellsomeonelikeyou.BlasphemousGodDammit,Itoldyounott...[
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Ialwaysthoughttheoriginalsayingwas,"Ifyoulovesomething,setitfree.Ifitdoesn'tcomebacktoyou,itwasn'tyourstobeginwith."However,forthepurposesofthistest,let'susetheproposedversion.Inwhichcategorydo*you*fall?"TheOldVersion"
Ifyoulovesomebody,Setherfree...
Ifshecomesback,she'syours,
Ifshedoesn't,sheneverwas...."TheNewVersions"Pessimist
Ifyoulovesomebody,Setherfree...
Ifsheevercomesba...[
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Iloveyou,
andIknowyouloveme,too,
butyouhavetoappreciatewhatI'mdoingforyou.IwillkeepchangingyouuntilyoulovemeasIloveyou
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We'reonaroadtonowhere,comeoninside
Takingthatridetonowhere,we'lltakethatride
Feelingokaythismorning,andyouknow
We'reonaroadtoparadise,herewego,herewego
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Yoursoulisaselectlandscape
Wherecharmingmasqueradersandbergamaskersgo
Playingtheluteanddancingandalmost
Sadbeneaththeirfantasticdisguises.Allsinginaminorkey
Ofvictoriousloveandtheopportunelife,
Theydonotseemtobelieveintheirhappiness
Andtheirsongmingleswiththemoonlight,Withthestillmoonlight,sadandbeautiful,
Thatsetsthebirdsdreaminginthetrees
Andthefountainssobbi...[
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