it would be too much of a burden for me to carry.
I didn't answer that music teacher's question, even though I knew the answer, is because I don't want to raise expectations so that next time I wouldn't look bad if I don't know an answer.
I did not mention my favorite museums to that guest is because I don't want to be bothered; it's too much work on my part without any reward. Remember? I don't want to raise expectations.
Nice friends make me feel safe. Those mean kids? They are stupid anyway. Stand up for myself? it's not worth the trouble.
Speaking to my parents in a respectful manner? that would require too much energy and thoughts. They will feed and house me anyway. I don't have to explain to them what I am feeling or thinking. They'll critisize and blame me anyway, what's the use? If I level with them, it can only mean one thing: more of what they want me to do."
He has drawn a circle and seems comfortable in it.
Does he miss his private school friends and environment? By rejecting the new place and new people, he might feel better inside without having to face the challenges of the new place.
His disrespect toward you needs to be addressed. One of the Ten Commandments is "Honor thy father and mother." You can start from there.
Speak positively about people around him. Point out the good in others. Ask him to say "Thank you" for your good cooking. Ask if you should write a Thank You card to the teacher who helped him. Gratitude is usually missing from kids who are unhappy.
Ask him to do things that he can accomplish by himself. Remind him that he needs to be responsible for his words and actions. It takes courage to be willing to shoulder oneself, and it is worth doing because he is worthy of his effort. Otherwise, someone other than himself is assuming that responsibility. Does he know who?
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