If you are flying DL or KLM you should not have problem because this is the KLM home airport, they have the best gates at Schphol.
Schphol is BIG. However getting out of Custom does NOT take this long. Although you need to go thru the Schengen check point to the Milan flight. Key is your flight to Milan is on the same ticket or a separate ticket. Or WORSE, on an LCC. If it is the former, I would not worry about it. The airline can easily accommodate you if the AMS-MXP/LIN is on the same ticket.
If it is the latter, then wish you good luck. LCC would not accommodate you. You very well need another ticket to Milan.
Your original plan to meet up with your daughter at AMS is good, ONLY if you have allow a day or two buffer time - i.e. spend a day at AMS just in case something like what you experience, happens. And this happens A LOT after Covid. Every airline has such incidents ever so often.
