Avoid emotionally loaded words,

來源: One1618 2022-01-31 09:04:04 [] [舊帖] [給我悄悄話] 本文已被閱讀: 次 (1844 bytes)

 

such as "discouraging", "confusion", "frustration", etc..

His abrasive behavior indicates that he does not want to be seen working with you. He is telling others to see him separate from you.

The problem lies with the leadership. Hard to imagine his brazenness in an office without looking at the upper management.

It's a tough situation. But being a "passive victim" is not going to lead to a good outcome. If you need to be "allowed" to speak at a meeting, not sure how your manager is going to think. Some of your wordings make the manager hasitate to support you because he is not sure how much effort is required on his part.

Address observable behaviors, do not imply motive or intention, especially in written form. Do not hint on race unless you have hard evidence.

Focus on the work, not your emotions. You cannot control how others behave, but you have control over your reaction. Don't let his behavior distract you from the work issues.

 

(Some of the wordings that make you sound weak:

for the time being   <telling other you are not certain, you are not committed>

S will provide support for Area 1 and I will provide support for area 2  <reverse the order>

S has been very discouraging.  <it's your feeling>

I am still confused why...  <never say you are confused>

as a minority woman over 50 with accent  <not adding anything, do not mention age>

I will try to be professional to...  <avoid the word "try". I have been professional...>

)

所有跟帖: 

很有道理。我個人總體有點negative -LIZAR- 給 LIZAR 發送悄悄話 LIZAR 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 01/31/2022 postreply 10:39:00

他主持會議,非常強勢,感覺不給別人說話機會。以後我會努力改變這個格局 -LIZAR- 給 LIZAR 發送悄悄話 LIZAR 的博客首頁 (56 bytes) () 01/31/2022 postreply 10:40:57

有的會議大家七嘴八舌,最終沒方案也會棘手 -julie116- 給 julie116 發送悄悄話 julie116 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 01/31/2022 postreply 12:28:29

如果我們平級共同支持這個裝置,我必須要參與進來啊。 -LIZAR- 給 LIZAR 發送悄悄話 LIZAR 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 01/31/2022 postreply 14:11:50

如果和外部客戶,其他部門交流,你倆可以提前溝通要達到什麽目標。 -julie116- 給 julie116 發送悄悄話 julie116 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 01/31/2022 postreply 15:00:12

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