人要幸福地願意被人用: 教主與樓下的姐姐談心

親愛的姐姐：

你妹妹是個正常的人。 有時她希望從他人包括自己的親人那裏多得到一些，雖然你不願意成為她那樣的人，但依然可以對她理解與寬容。

她兩次來美國生孩子，完全無可厚非。 作為姐姐，你能幫她就幫她。 無論對親人或陌生人，無論是主動或被動的幫助，隻有不計回報我們才能幸福。

我們活著，是要做幸福的人，做能對別人有用的人，而不是做不被別人利用的人。 其實，能被他人所用的人才是更有價值的人。

你的名字和身份能幫助你妹妹，似乎你也沒什麽損失。 我不理解你為什麽糾結。 即使有些損失，隻要不是致命的， 損己利人依然是件值得快樂和幸福的事情。

你年邁父親的古董不可能隨你父親萬年，你妹妹獨占也就獨占了。 如果你未來需要你妹妹的幫助， 你就大方地說好了。 你們父女都不需要為此糾結。

這個帖子表達了我的一些生活觀，幸福觀和價值觀。 希望你能借鑒。

願意被你或任何她人利用的，
阿裏 My younger sister used my name (without my permition, she stoled my passport copy ) to register a manufactor in China over 10 years ago. (for no tax or lower tax perpose, I think).recently she has a fight with her husband, now she wants me back to China to make a document authorize only her (no more her busband name on it ) to run the business. My questions are: 1) I never know my name being used , I did not get a penny on it, also never pay any tax in USA, If I go there to sign the document, I may put myself in big a trouble. 2) me and my younger sister not get alone at all. she is a selfish, big liar, business woman. she traveled USA 03 to stay for 6 months (visa only for 3months) give a brith here, then 3 years later did same thing again, another boy borned here, after that, she can't get her visa again. ( Thank God!) While she was here, she wants to use my Driver's License to rent a car to drive,I refused. She was not happy, 3) My brother and sister-in -law used to work in her company for few years, they work so hard, no weekend, but still she did not happy. when my brother and his wife tryed to leave (about 2009), she did not allow them to go, owe them 6 months salary. she is the kind of person always use people, a lot of thing she did is not leagal at all. My parents live in NY with me now. and she put her 6 years old boy here let my mom (79 years old) take care. my mom is willing to do that. I really do not want to deal anything with my sister. but my mom in between proptect her. they always talk on the phone, saying how bad I am. the good thing is my Dad (hs is 83 now) is justice, he know who is bad, this is why my sister hates dad too. she stole my dad's antique few years ago. It is complecated, I need your ideas and suggestions for that company under my name.

[歡顏展卷林中閑坐]

I beg to differ.

It's good to be generous towards others. However, reinforcing selfish behavior of her sister is not wise, and is bad for her sister in the long term.

Ask her to give something back to others when she asks for something from you. That is better than indulging her selfishness w/o boundaries. Her sister needs to learn that you can't be takers forever. Teaching her to be a giver is the best gift she can give her.