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窈窕淑女司令 (熱門博主)
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〖雅虎女老總出口成髒發布雅虎新策略〗

(2009-06-03 11:14:16) 下一個


雅虎新任的女老總愛出口成髒,前一陣子和華爾街時報的記者會談時不小心扔了F-炸彈,於是新聞界象TINA FAYE發現了SARA PALIN 一樣興奮,今天矽穀水星報將之惡搞。

其實公司男老總出口成髒的屢見不鮮,要是男生肯定不會受到如此待遇,可見男女之不平等,可CAROL 新官上任,正要施展拳腳大震乾坤,讓伊情以何堪,顏麵何存耶

不過還是蠻搞笑的,且有技術含量。我最近貪玩,矽穀係列一拖再拖,昨天遭到二蛋蛋密信批評,讓我很不好意思,希望蛋蛋喜歡這篇。我新的一篇寫了一半了,爭取本周貼出

  


O'Brien: Bartz unveils new &*%! strategy for Yahoo

Our columnist imagines how everyone's favorite potty-mouth CEO, Yahoo's Carol Bartz, might take her habit of dropping the f-word in public to the next level: by making it the centerpiece of her turnaround strategy for Yahoo. Let's listen in on what the staff meeting might sound like when she announces this bold new strategy...

Bartz: I'd like to take a moment and thank you for dragging your (S-xxx) down here for this meeting. Please take your seats and shut the (F-XXX) up. We've got a lot of ground to cover today.

(Bartz is pacing animatedly in front of employees.) No doubt many of you followed the big announcements from Microsoft and Google last week. Did anyone here even have a (F-XXX) clue that Bing or Google Wave was in the works? Holy (S-XXX)!

Just when we're finally getting our (S-XXX) together, our two biggest competitors go and change everything on us. Ballmer's such a (F-XXX). What (F-XXX) even came up with the name Bing? Congratulations on coming up with the worst name for a search engine ever. C'mon. And the press? They see one demo and they're slobbering all over it. Please.

And then — Google Wave?!? I mean, I just about (S-XXX) in my pants. First of all, what the hell is it? These guys throw up a (S-XXX) YouTube video about some product that may come out someday, and once again, reporters and bloggers (F-XXX) all over themselves writing about how (F-XXXing) amazing this thing is.
Meanwhile, we announce some great new products and what kind of coverage do we get? Zip.

We're not going to take this (S-XXX) any more.

Starting today, we fight back. We're going to announce a major new marketing campaign that won't let anyone ignore Yahoo any more.

For those of you who don't have your heads up your (S-XXX), you may have noticed that I've personally been beta testing this thing. First with those analysts, and then with that (F-XXXing) Wall Street Journal reporter Kara Swisher — I dropped the f-bomb.

The results were clear. Those (F-XXXs) in the press won't write about all the great (S-XXXs) we're doing at Yahoo, but one foul-mouthed remark from me, and we're back in the headlines.

So we're re-branding the company around excessive use of profanity. Our new marketing slogan will be, "Yahoo, (F-XXX) yeah!"

I expect every single Yahoo employee to maximize their use of profanity, both in the workplace and in external meetings with customers and partners.

As part of this campaign, we've registered (F-XXX)Google.com and (F-XXX)Microsoft.com. Users will be invited to submit their favorite reasons those two companies suck. We'll unveil a suite of Web 2.0 tools to invite the community to help us discover innovative uses of profanity.

As part of our efforts to roll this out across the company, your managers will be distributing a lexicon of dirty words that we expect every employee to read and utilize. We'll be offering bonuses for most creative use of profanity. And each Friday, we'll award the Purple and Gold Bar of Soap to the most foul-mouthed Yahoo out there.

I hope you're as excited as I am about this new program. And if you're not, well, go (F-XXX) yourself.

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閱讀 ()評論 (14)
評論
阿小餅 回複 悄悄話 回複淑女司令的評論:我還是覺得的像,你看,這兩人的額頭,都有點凸,發際也高,鼻子都是翹的,鼻頭都圓,嘴巴也像,下巴也都是尖的,三毛還沒長開,長大了就是這美女的樣子了。。。。越看越像:))不是抬杠杠:))
淑女司令 回複 悄悄話 回複哪吒的評論:
我貼上了,還是覺得不象,
淑女司令 回複 悄悄話 回複weston的評論:
西哥,不好意思,
我和幾個小姐妹瞎貧,讓您看到有點不好意思
淑女司令 回複 悄悄話 回複shuimaomao的評論:
九兒認為還不夠過癮呢,說希望有視聽更好
淑女司令 回複 悄悄話 回複餅姐姐的評論:
就是糊弄蛋蛋小姐的
淑女司令 回複 悄悄話 回複二蛋蛋的評論:
表弟英文不很靈光,有限的幾個單詞都是和他表姐我學的,前兩天教他一個新詞SICKO
,差點沒把他樂死,告訴他可以推廣到weirdo ,然後騙他說SBo也行,結果他居然
說SB是名詞不能加O,看他長進的

不過FART他肯定不認識,等過兩天他來了你烤烤他吧
weston 回複 悄悄話 Sure not written on Apr 1?
shuimaomao 回複 悄悄話 這篇好搞笑啊
餅姐姐 回複 悄悄話 支持一下哪吒,我覺得像。。。。

這篇好短啊:))
二蛋蛋 回複 悄悄話 你就摸準俺好F-XXX和S-XXX這口麽
雖然我也確實as excited as八字女士了
但你也不能隨便摘一篇就想糊弄俺

她表弟,果然純潔啊,f叉叉叉顯然就是那個那個那個fart嘛
哪吒 回複 悄悄話 對小注釋的問題,f某某到底是哪個意思啊?
哪吒 回複 悄悄話 http://www.cycnet.com.cn/kidsmovie/feilin/jingdian/sanmao_pic/004.gif
找到張照片,大家自己比較一下。
淑女司令 回複 悄悄話 她們一點也不象嘛,
小注釋: F-XXX 是那個的意思,S-XXX是屎的意思
哪吒 回複 悄悄話 我覺得這位巴子女士長得挺像三毛流浪記裏的三毛。
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