這10種方法療愈你內在小孩的傷痛

前段一位校友突然找我聊天， 事後， 我決定把感想和建議， 在不涉及校友隱私的情況下，寫一段簡單的文字， 也是自己的學習功課記錄。

 

每個人的內心，都住著一個小孩。

 

童年不幸的人，這個小孩或是孤獨無助、缺少安全感；或是喜怒無常，缺乏自控力；更或是陰沉灰暗，失去了生命應有的色彩。不管是以什麽樣的形式存在於內心，這個小孩是你童年時期被虐待、被忽視、經曆過創傷而形成並留存的。

這個小孩對我們成年後的影響是：

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1.很難說 "不 "，沒有自我界限，形成了我們熟知的討好型人格; ( 現實中他們寧可吃虧，也要在無關緊要的朋友麵前逞能，對生命中並不重要的事和人過多 投資-時間， 金錢）

 

2.經常苛責自己，無論做什麽事，看到的永遠是自己沒做好的那一麵;（對自己很harsh，常被認為是完美主義）

 

3.很容易焦慮，對於還沒有發生的事情總是無法控製地朝著壞的方向去想；（熟悉的一個朋友， 90%的時間你客氣見麵問好， 回答總是“  I am so stressed" “I could not sleep" but she never listen to any solution ( such as seeking professional help) she requested. 

 

4.在乎外界的看法，會不斷地尋求外界的認同，如果沒有外在認同，會覺得自己很失敗；（很多人都是活在自己的NARATIVE裏， 標簽裏， 他人的期望， 認同和敘事裏）

 

5.很難控製負麵情緒，很容易悲傷或是發怒，發怒之後往往又會感到內疚。（常被標為MOOD SWING， 很ABUSIVE， 我的一位過時的家人， 直到去世前， 她有內疚。 還有我遇到的一個直接上級也是，但我不認為她內疚過， 而是把她在自己生活中的負能量都發在工作團隊上了）

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內在小孩是我們自我消耗的根源，隻有療愈內在的小孩，才能找到平靜地自我，從容地體驗生活的快樂。以下8個練習或許可以帶你療愈內在的小孩：

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1. 與你內在的小孩子建立聯係，聽聽她/他要什麽。這個小孩要的東西一般都是儲存在潛意識中你童年時期或好或壞的經曆和情緒。當這個小孩被關注之後時，會感到安全和愛；

 

2. 像抱他人那樣，每天抱抱自己；

3. 回憶童年那些愉快的時光， 寫下來；

4. 對鏡練習：每天找一個時間，對著鏡中的自己進行愛的冥想，對自己的身體說“對不起”“謝謝你”“我愛你”；

5. 寫一封信給你的內在小孩，說出小孩在童年時希望得到的是什麽。如果你平常習慣用右手寫字，那麽這回用你的左手寫出這個小孩希望得到什麽。你也可以左右手交替來做一個現在的你與內在小孩的對話。

 

6. 關注觸發你負麵情緒的點是什麽？是什麽讓你憤怒、恐懼或是沮喪？童年時期是否有類似的經曆？或許在你的成長過程中父母很少關注你，經常否定你，責怪你， 慢待你， 把他們自己的負麵情緒像垃圾一樣倒給你， 或者現在當你身邊的人或近親很少真正關注你的需要，認真傾聽你，你的負麵情緒就會不自覺得湧上心頭。

7. 像小時候那樣，做自己喜歡做的事情；Do what you love. Do more of what makes you happy. 

 

8. 引導冥想，讓你踏上一段內心之旅，與受傷的孩子見麵。引導冥想看似簡單，實則是連接並開始治愈你內在小孩的強大方法。

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By Grok:

Healing childhood trauma as an adult is a deeply personal process that requires patience, self-compassion, and often professional support. The goal is to address unresolved emotional wounds, reframe harmful beliefs, and build healthier coping mechanisms. Below is a comprehensive guide based on psychological research and therapeutic practices to help adults heal from childhood trauma:

### 1. **Understand and Acknowledge the Trauma**
   - **Recognize the Impact**: Childhood trauma can stem from abuse, neglect, loss, or dysfunctional family dynamics. It often manifests in adulthood as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, relationship issues, or difficulty regulating emotions.

   - **Validate Your Experience**: Accept that the trauma was real and affected you, even if others minimize it. Self-validation is a critical first step.

   - **Educate Yourself**: Learn about trauma’s effects on the brain and body. Resources like *The Body Keeps the Score* by Bessel van der Kolk explain how trauma lingers and can guide healing.

### 2. **Seek Professional Support**
   - **Therapy Modalities**:
     - **Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)**: Helps reframe negative beliefs and process traumatic memories.
     - **Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)**: Uses guided eye movements to reduce the emotional charge of traumatic memories.
     - **Somatic Experiencing**: Focuses on releasing trauma stored in the body through physical sensations.
     - **Internal Family Systems (IFS)**: Helps integrate fragmented parts of the self, including the "inner child," to foster healing.
   - **Find a Therapist**: Look for a licensed professional specializing in trauma. Platforms like Psychology Today or BetterHelp can help locate someone.
   - **Group Therapy**: Support groups like those offered by organizations such as the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) provide community and shared understanding.

### 3. **Reconnect with Your Inner Child**
   - **Inner Child Work**: Visualize your younger self at the age of the trauma. Offer them compassion, safety, and the love they may not have received. Journaling or guided meditations can facilitate this.
   - **Reparenting**: Act as the nurturing parent you needed. This might involve setting boundaries, practicing self-care, or engaging in playful activities you missed out on.
   - **Creative Expression**: Art, music, or writing can help access and process emotions tied to childhood experiences.

### 4. **Build Emotional Regulation Skills**
   - **Mindfulness and Meditation**: Practices like mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) help you stay present and reduce overwhelm. Apps like Headspace or Calm offer guided sessions.
   - **Grounding Techniques**: Use sensory-based exercises (e.g., 5-4-3-2-1 method: name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, etc.) to manage flashbacks or anxiety.
   - **Breathwork**: Slow, deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, calming the body’s stress response.

### 5. **Challenge Negative Core Beliefs**
   - **Identify Harmful Beliefs**: Trauma often instills beliefs like “I’m unworthy” or “I’m unsafe.” Journaling can help uncover these.
   - **Cognitive Restructuring**: Work with a therapist to replace these beliefs with healthier ones, like “I am enough” or “I can create safety.”
   - **Affirmations and Self-Compassion**: Practice positive self-talk. Dr. Kristin Neff’s self-compassion exercises (available on her website) can be a helpful resource.

### 6. **Build a Support System**
   - **Healthy Relationships**: Surround yourself with supportive, empathetic people who respect your boundaries. Avoid those who trigger or invalidate your experiences.

   - **Set Boundaries**: Learn to say no and protect your emotional space, especially with family members tied to the trauma.
   - **Community**: Engage in communities (online or in-person) where you feel understood, such as trauma recovery forums on Reddit or local support groups.

### 7. **Care for Your Body**
   - **Nutrition and Exercise**: Trauma can dysregulate the body’s stress response. Regular movement (e.g., yoga, walking) and a balanced diet support overall well-being.
   - **Sleep Hygiene**: Prioritize rest, as trauma can disrupt sleep. Create a calming bedtime routine and limit screen time.
   - **Somatic Practices**: Activities like yoga or tai chi help release physical tension and reconnect with the body.

### 8. **Process Grief and Anger**
   - **Allow Emotions**: Suppressing anger or sadness can prolong pain. Safe outlets like journaling, talking to a therapist, or physical activities (e.g., boxing) can help.
   - **Forgiveness (Optional)**: Some find peace in forgiving those who caused harm, but this is not mandatory. Focus on what feels right for you.

( My philosophy: forgiveness should be earned by making an effort. )

   - **Mourn Losses**: Acknowledge what was lost in childhood—safety, trust, or love—and grieve those losses to move forward.

### 9. **Explore Spirituality or Meaning-Making**
   - **Find Purpose**: Reflect on how your experiences shape your values or desire to help others. This aligns with your previous interest in living with intention.
   - **Spiritual Practices**: If it resonates, practices like prayer, meditation, or connecting with nature can provide comfort and perspective.
   - **Philosophy**: Your interest in quotes like “至誠勝於至巧”  suggests a value in sincerity and purpose, which can guide healing by focusing on authentic self-growth.

### 10. **Be Patient and Persistent**
   - **Non-Linear Process**: Healing is not linear; setbacks are normal. Celebrate small victories, like recognizing a trigger or practicing self-care.
   - **Lifelong Learning**: As you described yourself as a curious lifelong learner, approach healing with curiosity rather than judgment.
   - **Avoid Rushing**: Trauma recovery takes time. Avoid pressuring yourself to “get over it.”

### Practical Steps to Start Today
1. **Journal Prompt**: Write a letter to your younger self, offering love and reassurance.
2. **Resource**: Read *Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving* by Pete Walker for practical strategies.
3. **Action**: Try a 5-minute mindfulness meditation using a free app like Insight Timer.
4. **Professional Help**: Search for a trauma-informed therapist on Psychology Today or contact NAMI for local resources.
5. **Self-Care**: Schedule one activity this week that brings you joy or peace, like a walk or listening to music.

 

Healing childhood trauma is a journey of reclaiming your sense of self and safety.