Maybe I am too tired

I got up at 12.30. To be exact, I was woken up by a door bell at about 10. But I knew I didn't need to answer it, because there is another American girl who lives nearer to the door of our flat, and in fact it is almost she that answers the door bell even if my other flatmates are all in the flat. By the way, since it is Xmas holiday, only 4 of us stay in the flat, the rest have all left for their own homes. It was cloudy again when I pulled down the curtain. But I don't care anyway, as I knew I would stay in my own small room for the whole day. After "breakfast", at about 3 o'clock, I began to open the book to do some reading. I don't know why all of a sudden some really sad thing hit upon my mind, I couldn't help crying. I cried so hard that I had to lie on the bed, with the quilt covering me. Recently, I became much more soft than before. Loneliness is really powerful even if you don't notice you have already been influenced by it. I think I will never be influenced by the feeling called "loneliness" by others, but I am wrong. I am only a simple woman, and I am not superwoman at all. I can't escape loneliness although I have strong belief which I think is enough to support me to lead my life without other relief when I am sad or lonley. I am a person whose personality is so complicated that I can't make sense what kind of person I am. But the only point I believe deeply is that I know when to work hard, when to have a rest in my life. The basic point is like this, as to other things I don't want to think further, because I am so tired.