爪四哥
爪哥原創，歡迎轉載。男女老少，笑口常開。
前言：爪哥自詡對中華上下五千年曆史了如指掌，可以"演義"得以假亂真栩栩如生。不過，相對於西方曆史文化，俺還是塊兒未經開墾的處男地。最近四嫂在喜馬拉雅跟聽西方文明史，在她不斷的開墾下，爪哥現在對西方文明也興趣十足。俺利用元旦期間，對西方文明中我醉感興趣的女兒國的前世今生，廢寢不忘食地深挖廣究，終於寫出了將要改寫古希臘文明史乃至整個西方文明史的人文科學的扛鼎之作：
女兒國深度揭秘
幾天前看到彭博社的一個報道，說是amazon正在以無以倫比的速度碾壓實體店。2019年，在amazon上網購的女性已占全體購買者的60%。預計不出十年，amazon女性購物者將全麵碾壓男性，amazon將會成為女性購物者的天堂，變成名符其實的女兒國！
乖乖隆地咚！現在我總算是明白，為啥傑夫.貝佐斯當初建立網站時，將其命名為amazon。因為amazons在古希臘，就是女兒國的名字。
關於女兒國amazons，有一個美麗的傳說。Once upon a time，在希臘諸國中，有一個傳承了數百年的女兒國amazons。全國清一色是女性，個個國色天香，傾國傾城。更牛的是，美女們不僅長得豔若桃花，而且各個武藝高超，十八般兵器樣樣精通，108式駕輕就熟。嗯，正可謂既上的了牙床，又上的了戰場。
有好奇害死驢的吃瓜群眾會問，爪哥是不是又在忽悠人？美女總會生老病死，這女兒國咋傳承數百年的？總不會個個都跟聖母瑪麗亞一樣，不啪啪也能懷孕生子吧？
嘿嘿，這次爪哥還真沒有忽悠。女兒國之所以能傳承數百年，當然有其生存之道。據爪哥考證，女兒國的每一個女孩紙長大成人，在每年的2月14日，都會穿上節日盛裝，坐上用橄欖枝裝飾的馬車，來到國境線上。眾所周知，希臘號稱千島之國，女兒國也不例外，乃希臘諸島之一。其國境線，是通過一座名叫鵲橋的跨海大橋與其它希臘城邦接壤。每年的2/14，成千上萬的希臘各城邦的男孩紙也穿上節日盛裝，通過鵲橋來到女兒國一邊，與女兒國的女孩紙相見...別誤會，這是西方的鵲橋會，與咱中國的牛郎織女鵲橋會沒有半毛關係哈。
據爪哥考證，amazons關於鵲橋會的rule one是醬紫：
被女孩紙相中的男孩紙，當時就可以坐進女孩紙的馬車啪啪啪...
這恐怕是最早的關於人類車震的記載了。想想看，成百上千輛馬車一字排開，全民共震的景象，成了amazons一年一度的一道亮麗風景線...（此處省略5000字），這就是西方情人節的來曆。
不過，在那些被相中的希臘各城邦男孩紙逍遙快活的同時，那些沒被相中的男孩紙的命運則截然相反。
據爪哥考證，amazons關於鵲橋會的rule two是醬紫：
所有沒被相中的男孩紙，都要被殺死，埋在amazons邊境的牡丹花下做有機肥料。
既便如此，每年的2/14，仍然有成千上萬的希臘各城邦的男孩紙豪不畏死義無返故地參加鵲橋會，他們的口頭禪是：
牡丹花下死，做鬼也風流！
那些個被相中的男孩紙，命運其實也不咋地。
據爪哥考證，amazons關於鵲橋會的rule three是醬紫：
這些男孩紙會做為播種機，一直留在amazons繼續播種，直到女孩紙懷孕生子。
如果生的是女孩，皆大歡喜，生父可以活命，從鵲橋回去自己的城邦。如果生的是男孩，這個男孩，會在每年十一月份的最後一個星期四，被遺棄在鵲橋的另一側，被希臘其他城邦的人抱走領養。這個星期四，被希臘其他重男輕女的城邦稱之為感恩節。據說，希臘史上赫赫有名的戰神阿基裏斯，奧德修斯。。都是amazons的棄兒。
男孩兒的生父呢？對不起，木有完成任務，會在男孩兒被遺棄的第二天，被集體活埋在牡丹花下做有機肥。這一天，又被那些喪子的希臘城邦，稱之為黑色星期五。
好奇害死驢的吃瓜群眾，明白了嗎？這就是amazons雖然是清一色的女兒國，但卻能傳承數百年的原因所在。
有好奇害死馬的吃瓜群眾會問，為啥隻傳承了數百年？後來呢？
後來，amazons在特洛伊戰爭中站錯隊，支持特洛伊...
有好奇害死騾子的吃瓜群眾會問，為啥amazons會冒天下之大不韙，支持彈丸小國特洛伊呢？
原因狠簡單，因為amazons全國的美女，上至女王下至女奴，全都愛上了Paris，就是那個勾引希臘第一美女海倫，一手挑起曆經十年的特洛伊戰爭的又帥又浪的王子（難怪法國首都以他命名）。所以，為了Paris，amazons全國上下同仇敵愾，與希臘各城邦的聯軍為敵。結果，下場狠悲慘，被amazons的棄兒，希臘第一勇士阿基裏斯滅了國。眾所周知，阿基裏斯是男同，所以對國色天香的美女們毫不憐香惜玉，下手狠辣，膽敢戕害這麽多絕色美女，以致人神共憤！最後，阿基裏斯也沒啥好下場，被阿波羅下套摔了個四仰八叉，Paris見機行事，一箭射中阿基裏斯腳後跟命門。一代名將，一命嗚呼。
以上是爪哥關於希臘文明史，乃至西方文明史的嘔心瀝血之作。準備以此文申請今天的Nobel文學獎。
附錄：維基百科關於amazons女兒國的介紹
In Greek mythology, the Amazons (Ancient Greek: ?μαζ?νες Amazónes, singular ?μαζ?ν Amazōn) were a tribe of warrior women believed to live in Asia Minor. Apollonius Rhodius, in his Argonautica, mentions that the Amazons were the daughters of Ares and Harmonia (a nymph of the Akmonian Wood), that they were brutal and aggressive, and their main concern in life was war. Lysias, Isocrates, Philostratus the Elder also say that their father was Ares.
Herodotus and Strabo place them on the banks of the Thermodon River. According to Diodorus, giving the account of Dionysius of Mitylene (who in turn drew on Thymoetas), the Amazons inhabited Ancient Libya long before they settled along the Thermodon. Migrating from Libya, these Amazons passed through Egypt and Syria, and stopped at the Caïcus in Aeolis, near which they founded several cities. Later, Diodorus maintains, they established Mytilene a little way beyond the Caïcus. Aeschylus, in Prometheus Bound, places the original home of the Amazons in the country about Lake Maeotis, and from which they moved to Themiscyra on the Thermodon. Homer tells that the Amazons were sought and found somewhere near Lycia.
Notable queens of the Amazons are Penthesilea, who participated in the Trojan War, and her sister Hippolyta, whose magical girdle, given to her by her father Ares, was the object of one of the labours of Heracles. The Amazons fought on the side of Troy against the Greeks during the Trojan War. Diodorus mentions that the Amazons traveled from Libya under Queen Myrina. Amazon warriors were often depicted in battle with Greek warriors in amazonomachies in classical art.
Archaeological discoveries of burial sites with female warriors on the Eurasian Steppes suggest that the Scythian women may have inspired the Amazon myth. From the early modern period, their name has become a term for female warriors in general. Amazons were said to have founded the cities and temples of Smyrna, Sinope, Cyme, Gryne, Ephesus, Pitania, Magnesia, Clete, Pygela, Latoreria and Amastris; according to legend, the Amazons also invented the cavalry.
Palaephatus, who was trying to rationalize the Greek myths in his On Unbelievable Tales (Ancient Greek: Περ? ?π?στων ?στορι?ν), wrote that the Amazons were probably men who were mistaken for women by their enemies because they wore clothing which reached their feet, tied up their hair in headbands and shaved their beards, and in addition, because they did not exist during his time, most probably they did nοt exist in the past either.
