3 Steps to discipline kids :
- Set rule: Solid
- Stay consequence: Solid
- Follow through
Good example is highway driving: caught -> ticket but people keeps trying
Kids like rule
Consequence is not a punish/threading, it is a result from the choice you made.
You chose … then you get …
Everything is a choice.
Solid rule, solid consequence: Ask them, tell them, stay with the consequence.
Our children learn from making wrong choice->wrong consequence (mistake)
Discipline=teaching
Self-discipline=self-control:
Children act out (the worst) in the safest place of the world – home
Setup a box for kids to acting out
Verify the event such as a party by verifying to kid's parents to make a call:
- Who, how, where, when and what
Manage behavior: Don't Yell, Just Tell! (take emotion away)
What trait do you want your kids to have when they are 21 years old?
- Honesty, kind, capable, and close to me
Our child behavior will not change until we change!
What's rule to the school night?
Communication
Stop and Think, before talk
Two ways to communicate: listen and Talk
Truly listen:
Our job is to figure out who they are
Cannot make self-motivated about score but can guide it
We learn nothing by talking
Kid’s complain: parents don’t listen to kids
Listen to the kids the same way you want them to listen
Listen & knowledge & empathetic
Kids get understood = feel safe
Our kids needs to be understood
Talk:
Talk to kids the same way they talk to me
Best place to talk: Dinner time, bedtime and car
Looking at eyes – teenage cannot do it
Text is a great way to talk to kids because kids does not want to listen to your voice
Ask a small question such as tell me one thing you have learned/happy/sad…
Shut me off from lif = I feel unsafe
Parents don't want last words but its ok for them to have last words
Parents don't have to have the last words but you should have the last say
Argue/debate: stop
Should not give an answer to social reply in front of friends such as sleeping over request. Try to reply with: Are you hoping I will reply with yes/no?
Given by: Susan Sone Belton
Susan@SusanStoneBelton.com
4082521089
Facebook.com/SusanStoneBelton
