Choose Strong
For Tim.
Tim's last English assignment was to write about a family heirloom based on an
interview with me. I was so happy reading his second draft and reflection below.
Ironing out a future without creases
The story of my heirloom intertwines with that of my grandmother. In 1986,
when my now 49 year old father lived in China’s Hebei Province and attended
elementary school, his mother began learning the humble art of tailoring.
She became an experienced tailor’s “apprentice”, investing many days into
learning the art of weaving, sowing, cutting, and ironing cloth and
garments. Eventually, this skill justified her purchase of a 400W 220V 1986
Egret Iron, and she definitely got her money’s worth out of that tool,
ironing with an unwavering fervor. After all, this whole endeavor was in
pursuit of a brighter future for my father, and ultimately, me.
Life in China during the 80’s seemed alien compared with our current world.
In fact, my grandmother had even attempted learning Chinese calligraphy, as
it was used very frequently in Communist propaganda. Her iron was her latest
scheme that would help ring in some extra income for her and her son as she
was adamant in sending my father to college. My father recalled that after
he got out of school, he and his mother would arrive in the tailor shop, and
while he diligently grinded out his school work, grandmother would sit and
learn tailoring for two, sometimes three hours on end. She wasn’t all that
educated either, having only completed a third grade education right before
she began working in the fields with her family. Eventually, she worked her
way into town, taking on all sorts of jobs here and there. In her spare time
however, she always tried scraping together some money. Tailoring was one
way she gathered up my father’s college tuition. After her apprenticeship,
she began peddling the clothes she made: simple garments that, albeit a bit
rough, were hardy and a favorite among the farmworkers. Every cent she
earned went into the bank, slowly accumulating into the funds for my
father’s future.
Furthermore, as essentially a single parent with my grandfather far away,
occasionally supporting her, my grandmother worked long and hard, hoping my
father’s future would be bright and prosperous. The same way she ironed
clothes, my grandmother was ironing out a clearer and easier path for her
son, and in a sense, her grandchildren. She didn’t stagnate, feel self pity,
or plunge into a state of hopelessness. Instead she constantly thought
about improving her and her family’s lives. She was continually reinventing
herself, always changing and adapting inside China’s changing political and
technological state. The societal norm at the time was that a man should,
even if not physically present, help and keep the family together by, among
many things, sending in financial aid. My grandmother shattered that
stereotype on a daily basis as my father’s supporter, since my grandfather
wasn’t around because of his work, and the money only occasionally trickled
in. Throughout all those trials and tribulations, my grandmother worked with
her iron, weathering through hard times, and striving towards her goals.
Ultimately, my grandmother’s iron achieves status as an heirloom through its
symbolism. This iron wasn’t passed from some famous ancient ancestor, and
wasn’t a priceless relic either. Rather, this heirloom embodies the hopes
and dreams my grandmother had for my father, and the future generations of
our family. The iron serves as a reminder of hard work in perseverance of
dreams through how my grandmother persisted in tailoring. Those six years of
hard work, learning, and pursuing a dream, are embodied in a simple iron,
and constantly reminds my father and I about the sacrifices she made that
allowed for our current lives.
Reflection:
Before I interviewed my father about this project, I didn’t know what I was
getting into. I’d originally heard my dad talking about how his childhood
was much more different than mine, but I never truly understood or
appreciated what he said. I’d sometimes feel kind of sad, knowing that,
while my classmates had important or impressive ancestors, my ancestors
seemed like nobodies, people who didn’t really seem interesting at all. Now,
after actually having a discussion with my father about my heirloom and
heritage, I don’t feel any embarrassment. Instead, I feel proud about my
ancestors because of their work ethic, and how they overcame their
obstacles. Looking back on it now, the respect and admiration I feel in my
heart about my grandmother studying tailoring for almost three hours a day
on an almost daily basis for six years remains the same as what I’d have for
any other kind of grandiose achievement.
Even though my grandmother was working to support her family in terms of
household income, she was also working just as hard for her dreams, and her
son’s dreams. When she passed, my father not only inherited the iron she
used so long ago, but also the mindset of always doing the most he could in
hopes of supporting his son’s dreams and aspirations. If it weren’t for my
father adopting my grandmother’s mindset, and supporting me in every
possible way he could, I would likely not be in my current position. My
father always said that I had the spirit of hard work and humility that was
a characteristic of his side of the family. My parents often joke around
saying that some of my good genetics came from their own side of the family,
like the traits of perseverance or studiousness. And although I might be
stretching the truth just a bit if I said a little bit more of those traits
were from my dad’s side of the family than my mother’s, I still think that a
little bit of our ancestors lives on in us. And just a little spark of that
steadfast fervor my grandmother held which drove her nonstop into working
for her son’s dreams, might just also live on in me.
should be "to be tightened up."
It's definitely hard for the immigrant :-)
comments. I appreciate your time and the review!
Obviously writing is hard even for native speakers! Indeed, quite a few places
need to be tighten up. Thank you for pointing out the redundancy. (I myself have
learnt to say as little as possible :-)) Over time, I hope Tim will get it. His
teacher gave him 90% and he's happy.
I bought a textbook on essays but he's not interested. I love it myself and have
been studying. I feel like a college student again.
Thank you again and have a great week!
--I meant that Tim's English is mesmerizing.
The repetition, if any, only occurs in the last paragraph of the essay or the reflection. I am 雞蛋裏麵挑骨頭：））
Wow, Tim IS a great writer as you are! The essay is very well organized, with a clear theme weaving through from the beginning of the story to the end. It ends with a strong and resonant revelation that with the sacrifice of the ancestors, a younger generation's future is ironed out more smoothly. (I am not in a position to comment on the language. Tim is a native speaker.)
Essay is a very important part of college application. I bought J a few essay writing books, among them are collections of sample essays. This essay which Tim wrote in his freshman/sophomore (?) year is already sample-level, seriously.
If there is anything (if you or Tim don't mind), I would delete one or two sentences that may sound redundant or at least use a different word so that words like "embody", "lie on in" are not repeated.
Congratulations on Tim! I know it is never easy to write a good article.
I love the followings:
"and she definitely got her money’s worth out of that tool, ironing with an unwavering fervor."
"The same way she ironed clothes, my grandmother was ironing out a clearer and easier path for her son, and in a sense, her grandchildren."
"Throughout all those trials and tribulations, my grandmother worked with her iron, weathering through hard times, and striving towards her goals."
"--this heirloom embodies the hopes and dreams my grandmother had for my father, and the future generations of our family.
"My father always said that I had the spirit of hard work and humility that was a characteristic of his side of the family."
+1, for sure Tim has your gene, my friend!