On Teenage Love

I was so thankful that Tim shared his poem about his first love with me. And
here was what I wrote back.

> Dear Tim,
>
> Thank you for sharing your poem. I enjoyed it very much.
>
> Teenage love is bitter-sweet in the mind. Often, one cannot help it. If you 
> feel like to indulge, I don't blame you as I certainly did.
>
> But it is fickle at best in reality. You already know many things are not what
> they are cracked up to be. What you cannot have always feels more desirable 
> than it really is.
>
> It's a better bet to grow strong in body, mind, and spirit. Then, you don't 
> need to pray to gods or men for anything. That's what my life so far has
> taught me.
> 
> It's hard to do and you might say that it's easy for me to say. After all, I
> already have had my best gift: you. But for that reason, it is all the more
> glorious if you can achieve it.
> 
> The story continues: after one stops craving, the gods will start to pile good
> things onto him.
> 
> Love
> Dad.

And later another letter.

> Dear Tim,
>
> I think your poem was beautiful and you were both articulate and brave to express
> yourself. ("Davit" was a delightful word, BTW.) I wish I were as articulate or brave when I was at your age.
>
> The fact was, however, I was a socially awkward nerdy fatso constantly plagued
> by a feeling of inferiority. Self-pity was the pitfall I squandered much time on. I
> shared my feelings with no one and I doubt any could have fixed me. That self-
> absorbed unhappiness lasted all the way into my 30s. It was fate.
>
> Only many years later, I learnt D. H. Lawrence's poem which struck me like
> nothing else:
>
>         I never saw a wild thing
>         sorry for itself.
>         A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
>         without ever having felt sorry for itself.
>       
> It is therefore very satisfying for me to see you take a different path to face
> your feelings head-on. Again, I appreciate you sharing with me.
>
> Love
> Dad

[7grizzly]

回複 '暖冬cool夏' 的評論 : Thank you, 暖冬, for reading and I truly appreciate you sharing your experience and lessons. I feel very lucky. Instead of pushing him to do things, I guess my philosophy is to try to be the best version of self and show him what's possible. In that sense, Tim indeed is the best gift that compels me to try to improve.

This is the first time I heard the origin of "teenage." The dictionary does not explain explicitly enough. Many thanks.

[暖冬cool夏]

You are lucky that Tim confides in you, and you do a great job writing to him sharing your opinion and experience. A lot of time kids struggle just like we did. Keep the channel open so that at least he has you to resort to. I am not a successful mom, and I've learnt countless lessons in raising a kid. For me, it is more important to help foster kids' confidence, personality and inner strength than their academic success. Tim will surely do well with you as his mentor and confidant.
I'v learnt today how the word "teenage" is derived from. My daughter told me that the word, consisting of "teen" and "age", refers to the age period from 13 to 19, the numbers of which all end with "teen", like thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, .....nineteen. I found it interesting.:))