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Tim Elected Historian

(2018-12-09 09:34:41) 下一個

Tim ran again and was finally elected historian for the 6th

grade. Compared with others, his campaign looked effortless:

he put up three posters in total without one picture, went

on stage, told a few jokes, and won by a landslide. What made

him more proud was that he did it with no help from us,

which reminded me of my own childhood.

 

In those tough years, mom lived simple, worked hard, and

saved every penny but rarely helped in (read: meddled with)

my business, i.e., school. She was not able to help at

higher grades because she didn't finish elementary herself

(which by itself was thought a bad thing). I had (and have)

a college-educated dad but he was not around. I suffered

abusive teachers and fought street bullies but never told

mom. She couldn't visit school often to socialize or escort

me because we were poor and she had to work at sweatshops.

(That again in this day and age could have been seen as a

bad thing.) She HAD to leave my life to me.

 

Through everything she did do, however, she impressed on me

daily the message that she loved me and would do anything

for me. And that was enough*. I took responsibility and

strove with everything in me to make her happy and to

realize her dream: that her son would go to college**. I

couldn't imagine the outcome had that message not been there.

 

 

In the U.S., things are different. Wealth seems to have

grown to a level that corrupts. Or maybe it is just this

school which seems fearing losing students (profits)***.

Teachers and principles do not have enough authority and

moms get heavily involved. Some seem insecure and try

to "support" their kids every step of the way. Last year,

three kids including one**** bribing voters got elected

presidents of the student council just because these

families wanted it badly (for good-looking resumes perhaps).

They even lobbied hard to make sure their kids get the major 

roles in the annual play. These families sent their kids the 

message that they NEEDed help and took away their chances to

experience the real world. Or maybe, with money, some people

were trying to create their own version of the real world.

 

Tim has to struggle for himself, regardless of how wealthy I

am, and that's the only way to hold his own in life. I am

there, but he has to take charge of his own health, to work

hard in school and fight hard on the mat. Just today, Mr. M,

Tim's teacher, invited me to be "Google Classroom Guardian"

and "You'll get a weekly summary of Tim's progress with

missing and upcoming work, and new teacher posts." I would

elect not to be.

 

*   So much memory. Those years, to quote W. H. Auden,

      She was my North, my South, my East and West

      My working week and my Sunday rest

      My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song,

      ...

      

**  Dad got the credit as he was the one in the family with

    a college degree. And of course, my drive disappeared

    the moment I left for college. But that's another story.

    

*** Private school might have been a mistake or we can learn

    from this experience.

 

**** Tim told me the parents paid "indulgences," later, and

    sent that kid into a more expensive private school.

 
 
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7grizzly 回複 悄悄話 回複 '暖冬cool夏' 的評論 : Thank you, 暖冬. Tim corrected me that it should be "won by a landslide" instead of "won a landslide." Good to know I'm not alone. Say hello to your husband.
暖冬cool夏 回複 悄悄話 Congratulations on Tim's effortless landslide win! He will shine more brilliantly as he grows with the independence and discpline you have trained him. I guess it has nothing to do with being private or public. Your childhood experience is very much like my husband's, who was left alone and on his own...
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