Choose Strong
For Tim.
Tim ran again and was finally elected historian for the 6th
grade. Compared with others, his campaign looked effortless:
he put up three posters in total without one picture, went
on stage, told a few jokes, and won by a landslide. What made
him more proud was that he did it with no help from us,
which reminded me of my own childhood.
In those tough years, mom lived simple, worked hard, and
saved every penny but rarely helped in (read: meddled with)
my business, i.e., school. She was not able to help at
higher grades because she didn't finish elementary herself
(which by itself was thought a bad thing). I had (and have)
a college-educated dad but he was not around. I suffered
abusive teachers and fought street bullies but never told
mom. She couldn't visit school often to socialize or escort
me because we were poor and she had to work at sweatshops.
(That again in this day and age could have been seen as a
bad thing.) She HAD to leave my life to me.
Through everything she did do, however, she impressed on me
daily the message that she loved me and would do anything
for me. And that was enough*. I took responsibility and
strove with everything in me to make her happy and to
realize her dream: that her son would go to college**. I
couldn't imagine the outcome had that message not been there.
In the U.S., things are different. Wealth seems to have
grown to a level that corrupts. Or maybe it is just this
school which seems fearing losing students (profits)***.
Teachers and principles do not have enough authority and
moms get heavily involved. Some seem insecure and try
to "support" their kids every step of the way. Last year,
three kids including one**** bribing voters got elected
presidents of the student council just because these
families wanted it badly (for good-looking resumes perhaps).
They even lobbied hard to make sure their kids get the major
roles in the annual play. These families sent their kids the
message that they NEEDed help and took away their chances to
experience the real world. Or maybe, with money, some people
were trying to create their own version of the real world.
Tim has to struggle for himself, regardless of how wealthy I
am, and that's the only way to hold his own in life. I am
there, but he has to take charge of his own health, to work
hard in school and fight hard on the mat. Just today, Mr. M,
Tim's teacher, invited me to be "Google Classroom Guardian"
and "You'll get a weekly summary of Tim's progress with
missing and upcoming work, and new teacher posts." I would
elect not to be.
* So much memory. Those years, to quote W. H. Auden,
She was my North, my South, my East and West
My working week and my Sunday rest
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song,
...
** Dad got the credit as he was the one in the family with
a college degree. And of course, my drive disappeared
the moment I left for college. But that's another story.
*** Private school might have been a mistake or we can learn
from this experience.
**** Tim told me the parents paid "indulgences," later, and
sent that kid into a more expensive private school.
