Grandma Was A Stoic

Grandma fit into the prototype of traditional Chinese
virtuous village women. She had a mild temper and was
never feared by us kids. She was never the leader and
neither was she eloquent or forceful. Her power was in serving
others through tireless daily tasks, e.g., cleaning, mending,
cooking, feeding, etc. She was tough and kind. People, young
and old, gravitated to her. She was loved by all.

You would never find her outside her home gossiping with
villagers.  She worked all the time either indoors or out in
the yard. Watching TV with the rest of the family (when TV
became common) she always had something to work on at the
same time. She never indulged in luxuries even as they
became more accessible. She somehow did not crave for the
"good stuff" and was always satisfied with a simple meal which
usually consisted of one or two bowls of porridge made from
coarse cornmeal or millet and some preserved vegetables. I
gave her money on my visits but she never seemed to need
any. (It's almost funny I thought otherwise at the time: who
doesn't need money?) Could it be her work habits and simple
diet instead of her good genes that saved her from the
diseases of affluence?

After my mom passed away, relatives talked about grandma
more at family gatherings. We were worried that she was getting
old and couldn't take the blows. We marvelled at her serenity
going about her business after losing her husband and two
children. She looked, talked, and smiled her old self. I
knew she shed tears when working alone but nothing
excessive.  I asked her once somewhat directly about how she
felt. Her answer was along the line of "It is what it is,
what else could I do?" For her, the only choice was to keep
living as best as she could. No one would've guessed but my
uncle JingChen died of a similar modern disease some 15
years later and grandma passed away 3 years after that. As far as
I could tell, her spirit stayed strong all the way.

 

[7grizzly]

It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor. -- Seneca

My grandma didn't need my money. She was much richer.

[7grizzly]

I think you may like the other article in this blog, "This is water," too.

[7grizzly]

Thanks again for reading and the kind words.
Grandma has been my spiritual beacon.
And yes. I meant "passed away." Duly revised.

[暖冬cool夏]

“No one would've guessed but my
uncle JingChen died of a similar modern disease some 15
years later and grandma passed 3 years after that.”
You mean “and grandpa passed away 3 years after that"?
Your grandma is a reflection of her generation, strong, persevered and frugal. She is a role model to us. Thanks for sharing!