How to Live a Truly Rich Life: A Letter to My Kids (ZT)

Dear Helena and Lucas,

When I was growing up, my family and I spent a lot of time shopping. Some of those weekend afternoons were spent looking for deals at malls – to which we had to drive for an hour because we lived in a small town – but mostly we went window shopping. We would browse tiny antique boutiques in charming tourist towns, or luxurious coat sections and cosmetic counters of high-end department stores. Likewise, we would often drive around the neighborhoods built on the local country club, admiring the columned colonials and eaved tudors.

These excursions had two messages. One, that there were things out there that we could not afford, and those things represented a better life. While my mom spent a lot of effort making my two brothers and me feel loved and special in many important ways, window shopping for things that were better than what we had told me that the people who could afford them were better than me.

The other message was that there is happiness in things. If life in our tiny rental were tense or stressed, somehow those homes and trench coats and china would make things right. Those possessions promised a worry-free life. They also took away responsibility for being happy regardless of finances.

By osmosis, I learned that things equal worth at its most profound level. The message was that money equals happiness.

When I grew older and started earning my own money, I quickly found that money can indeed be a fantastic asset. But money’s greatest power is not its ability to help you acquire pricey furniture or luxury cars.

One of the greatest luxuries money has afforded me is the ability to not worry about whether the rent check will clear. That position affords me sound sleep, which allows me to be an energetic, engaged mom to you. Having a little money in the bank also empowers me to make financial decisions from a place of confidence rather than fear or envy. I am more likely to take strategic risks to grow my business, which gives me joy, creative fulfillment and pride. Having enough money gives me the peace of mind to blow off work on a sunny spring weekday afternoon to take you out of daycare and fly our dragon kite at the park.

You may notice how little I like shopping now (when you need new sandals or a bike tire pump, I just go online after you’re in bed and buy what we need). I’m proud of our pretty apartment, and appreciate my few good pieces of jewelry. But letting go of any urge to invest in expensive or precious things relieves me of the stress those things can induce – especially as the mom of little kids. After all, if I replaced our threadbare rug with a lovely Tibetian masterpiece, I would lose my mind with every drop of finger paint or raspberry that landed on its fibers. If I splurged on an expensive cashmere coat, I would be less likely to rumble around the jungle gym with you, or take you sledding.

Contrary to the lessons I internalized when I was a child, fewer things, I’ve found, equal more freedom and more flexibility – both of which are the foundation of a full, rich life. And I’ve found that, like any asset managed well in its truest sense, money can indeed bring a measure of happiness -- but in a deeper, more real way than I understood as a kid, and in ways I hope you will carry you through your own lives.

Love and riches to you both,

Mommy

....................................................................................

Happy Mother's Day to you all, my dear friends!
 

 

[素錦流年]

回複ShanShan33的評論:

33, 有一天和一個朋友聊到馬斯洛的需求理論，他衝口而出， 嗯，保暖思淫欲啊。。。 哈哈。。。

[ShanShan33]

馬斯洛的人類需求金字塔，把人的需求分成生理需求、安全需求、社交需求、尊重需求和自我實現需求五類，依次由較低層次到較高層次。

當人的生理需求和安全需求都沒有滿足的時候，錢作為一種工具和手段是必不可少的，那個時候對於錢的追求和向往會在人的意識中占著非常主導的地位。當最基本的需求滿足了以後，錢的重要性就降低了，因為錢不是萬能的，錢可以買到生活的舒適，卻買不到愛，買不到幸福；錢可以買到前呼後擁，卻買不到發自內心的尊重和真正的友誼。錢可以買到價值連城的古玩字畫，卻買不到真正的鑒賞力，以及由懂得欣賞帶來的無比的快樂。。。

這位媽媽寫的真好，真的是一個有智慧的母親！

謝謝好文分享，祝素錦和樓下各位周末快樂！

[素錦流年]

回複九月獨處的評論:

九月, I agree with you that "love to make money" and "love money" are two different concepts, but sometimes it's hard to draw a line between them. hehe...

thanks for swinging by. i have been reading two investment books, The Clash of the Cultures: Investments vs. Speculation and The Battle for the Soul of Capitalism, both are written by Vanguard founder John Bogle, - just wanted to make my money work as hard as i do.... haha.....

[九月獨處]

In my opinion, one's capability in earning money is important, the greater the better... yet, one's ability in living a life without being a slave of money is fantastic, the greater the happier... "Love to earn money" and "Love money" are two very different things! :-)

素錦，來看看你，最近好嗎？！～～有什麽新書可以推薦？～～

[decentdreamer]

幸福與否與金錢的多少不是成正比的”
沒有對錯，因為每個人對幸福的定義和價值觀不同。

[素錦流年]

回複雪影雲痕的評論:

雪影，我同意你所說的。人真的是在貧窮的時候才會對物質有極大的渴望，而且幸福與否真的與金錢的多少不是成正比的。 但是這也要自己去體會，所以這位媽媽說，I hope you will carry you through your own lives.

[素錦流年]

回複梅蘭鬆竹的評論:

鬆竹，i'm glad you like the post. you know i thank my daughter all the time for giving me the chance to be a mom and to learn how to be patient. i pray for wisdom everyday so i could provide perspectives and insights to this young lady...

[雪影雲痕]

Contrary to the lessons I internalized when I was a child, fewer things, I’ve found, equal more freedom and more flexibility ━ both of which are the foundation of a full, rich life. And I’ve found that, like any asset managed well in its truest sense, money can indeed bring a measure of happiness -- but in a deeper, more real way than I understood as a kid, and in ways I hope you will carry you through your own lives.
------------------------------------------------------------素錦好！我特別喜歡這封感人的letter，已經把它打印出來了。寫信的人真是一個
wise mother。
讀了這篇ZT讓我想起自己的經曆：17-18年前我一無所有來到NY，站在曼哈頓5th Avenue，看著那些華美的商店，我發誓一定要在NY做醫生，我告訴自己將來我一定要到這些商店去買我喜歡的東西。一年半後我在NY做了住院醫生。17年後我重返NY，早已有了足夠的經濟能力去買自己想要的東西，可是我什麽都沒買，因為該有的都有了，而
這時的我更在乎享受生活中的幸福快樂。我的體會是：人在最初奮鬥的動力是去掙足夠的錢讓自己有一個好的生活，可是當達到了這最初的目標後就會明白：money is essential for a good life, but there are a lots of more important things than money。Rich life is not equal to rich in money。
謝謝分享！
祝素錦和梅蘭母親節快樂！

[梅蘭鬆竹]

Contrary to the lessons I internalized when I was a child, fewer things, I’ve found, equal more freedom and more flexibility – both of which are the foundation of a full, rich life. And I’ve found that, like any asset managed well in its truest sense, money can indeed bring a measure of happiness -- but in a deeper, more real way than I understood as a kid, and in ways I hope you will carry you through your own lives.
------------------------------------------------------------

What a WISE mother! It also took me quite some time to figure this one out---Money is essential for a good life. Learn to be its master, not its slave.

素錦，Thanks for sharing this wonderful post. love the youtube, too, full of energy~~

Happy Mother's Day to you! Stay young and happy!