Social １，２ 事

我怎麽覺得social這件事是天生的。我有一中學同學隨便往哪兒一站不用問他就是中心，而且他兄弟姊妹都這樣。她有個妹妹學習經常考不及格，卻跟老師的關係很好，這在那個年代是不多見的，　而且她現在也混得不錯。不過，我還是寧信其有不信其無。推還是要推的。就算推也隻能摸著石頭過河，我從來沒看到什麽標準答案。怎麽辦？隻有從一點一滴小事做起吧。那天一早剛起床，女兒小玉大呼小叫，媽媽媽媽，快來看哪，silk worm hatched. 得，去年最後一撥蠶產的卵沒放進冰箱裏，小蠶提前出來了。這樣吧我說，趕緊把這個盒子放進冰箱。不行媽媽，小蠶會凍死的。那怎麽辦？桑樹還沒長葉子，它們不是凍死就是餓死。這樣吧，把那個爬滿小蠶的繭子留在外麵，剩下沒出的放到冰箱。媽媽，等下次蠶長大以後我要帶到教室給所有的同學摸摸，除了Earl，　他會Squeeze the silk worm and kill it. Earl 在他們班是個麻煩孩子，7 歲了還在Kindergarten, 一天有一半時間是在time out. 我說，　小玉，如果你們班有個同學帶了一個好玩的玩具讓所有的人玩，除了你，你會不會sad, 然後還會angry? Ok Mom, I will let Earl touch the silk worm ，女兒想了一下後說。 對，你要對待每個人都一樣，不管他是不是Popular，這樣你就不會傷害別人的feeling, make everybody your friends. 而且我覺得Earl多半不會squeeze the silk worm，　他應該沒那麽壞吧。　　女兒就要選一年級老師了。我和現在家有一年級孩子的一個白人家長谘詢過，她給我如數家珍的吧所有的一年級老師特點說了個遍。要說我們小中在與老師的互動方麵沒什麽優勢。我就隻認識小玉的老師，別的一概不知。她提到 Ms. H　特別注重reading，人也nice。她的幾個學生都在什麽program 了。她的女兒也說最喜歡Ms. H。　　但是這個家長並沒有為她的孩子選Ms. H　因為Ms. H每天都要布置２本書帶回家讀。　too much 她說。你看美國的家長和我們的想法是不一樣的。我在公園的play ground 又問了幾個２年級３年級的孩子，讓他們排名，都是Ms. H第一，說是她nice, 還有上課的時候有movie教學。看到Ms. H在學生中這麽popular，　我有點擔心選不上，就問女兒怎麽辦？媽媽，我去找Ms. H， 她的教室就在我們旁邊不遠。我說，那太好了，明天就去。你怎麽知道誰是Ms. H？ 哦，我看見她的名字在她教師的門上，我知道她是誰。女兒聽上去信心滿滿。你去說些什麽呢？你怎樣說服Ms. H願意接收你呢？女兒看著我不作聲。一個５歲的孩子根本不會想這樣的問題。你知道老師喜歡什麽樣的學生嗎？我又問。老師喜歡行為好，學習好，願意幫忙的學生。 你明天就照著這個去說。把你做完的那本一年級math workbook帶上給Ms. H看看，還有，告訴她你是reading star. 第二天放學回來，我問，今天找到Ms. H 嗎？　沒有。媽媽，　Ｉam too shy to go alone. 你明天跟我一起去好不好。你們學校不是我想去就去，得事先跟Ms. H約時間，而且你現在還不是Ms. H的學生，我多半約不到她的。這件事隻有你自己去。過了一天，還是沒去，shy. 這樣吧我說，你請你的老師Ms. B明天有空的時候帶你去， 明天一定哦。沒告訴孩子，悄悄的給她的代課老師寫了email, 要求她幫個忙（ see email below). 晚上回來， 怎麽樣，去了嗎？　去了媽媽。我們排隊去music class 的路上，路過Ms. H 的門口，Ms. B　stopped the line，　Ms.H 走到我的麵前。 Ms. B 說什麽了嗎?　Yes， she said this is Angelina, she will be a great student for you. Ms.H 說了什麽嗎？ she asked if I want to be in her class, I said yes Mommy said so. 你給Ms.H　看了你的math work book 了嗎？yes I did. 那， Ms. H 看了書高不高興阿？yes, she give me a hug and said you will be my student. 你確信？把你剛才的話在說一遍？she said you will be my student. 不錯，還能問出個一二三，　比我小時候強多了。小孩的話得一句一句的套。下麵是我與她老師Ms. B 的email 來回。　英語不好，為了說明我是怎樣與老師打交道的，還是copy 過來。我的體會是多與老師交流，隻有好處。Dear Ms. B, I received your note about the kindergarten celebration meeting. I will not be able to obtain the meeting at the time, but will support any decisions you and the other parents make. I have been very busy at work and didn't do much contribution for Angelina's class, please let me know anything I could do for the celebration.Angelina was disappointed not getting your praise by showing you the workbook she finished. I said may be Ms. B was busy at the time。 she has many students to take care of. So she said she will try again today:-). She did it just for showing you she could do it: I can see how important you are in her mind. Angelina said the first grade teacher Ms. H's class is near hers and she could walk to Ms. H 's class and ask her if she could obtain her class in the first grade year. But the next day she said she was shy going alone. I wonder by any chance if you could walk her to Ms. H's class ? I know you are busy, this might be too much to ask. Thank you in advance. Hi, Ms. W（我的名字）.Do not worry about not making the meeting for the celebration planning. We do not expect everyone to attend. We only have about 10 parents that can make it each year. I appreciate you!As for Angelina and the math workbook, I did not know she was showing it to me. She said something about stickers in the book. I thought it was just a coloring book she was asking me if she could color in during centers. She never told me she had worked the book! I will definitely say something to her about it today. :)Mrs. H's class is near ours. Angelina is welcome to speak to her in the hall – I will help her, but she is not guaranteed to have a particular teacher next year. Ms. Johnson's just says she will try to give you the teacher that you want. If a class is too full, she will be put another class. Do not worry – I am sure Ms. Johnson will do all she can. :)Laura :)Thank you Ms. B. For a 5 years old, Angelina probably think people automatically know what she think in her mind about the workbook: -)I know Ms. H is very popular since I talked to second and third grade kids in the park play ground, they all like Ms H very much. If Ms. H likes Angelina, may be she could talk to Ms. J（校長）. Angelina likes to read a lot, I think she will fit in Ms. H's class well.It's so nice of you helping Angelina to talk to Ms. H. I asked Angelina to show Ms. H that how well she could read and she will be a good student for Ms H by behave well and study hard. Thank you very much.