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一封寫給女兒的信

(2012-08-27 21:53:00) 下一個
偶然翻出兩年前寫在女兒博克上的一封信。由於當時和女兒在申請大學的問題上有了很大的分歧,她在她的博克上寫了一篇讓我傷心之極的博文,於是,就有了這個故事。 孩子,你長大了,在這裏,恭喜你,你終於可以展開翅膀去遨遊這個屬於你們的世界了,對不起,孩子,在你出生的那天起,我就用了我的方式來養育了你,甚至都沒有經過你的同意。我不知道應該怎樣來使你幸福,就用了我以為的方式,對不起,孩子,因為,對我的童年來說,那簡直是天堂了。對不起,我沒有征得你的同意,在你童年的時候就讓你去鋼琴學校學習,因為,那是我童年的夢想,而我不知道我的夢想會使你失去你童年的快樂。假如時間能夠倒轉,我一定讓你的童年生活在電視卡通裏,而不用花一分錢,對不起了,下輩子吧,假如我還有緣份做你的母親,但是,我想,那一定不可能了,因為,你一定會拒絕的。對不起,孩子,沒有征得你的同意,在我們生活非常困苦的時期,讓你和我們同住一個屋簷下,以為省下的那些錢可以為你以後提供更好的生活,學習環境。對不起,孩子,沒有經過你的同意,每個周末和假期,讓你去補習班,我不知道那會給你傷害和壓力。對不起,孩子,沒有征得你的同意,把你送進了Stuyvesant High School,以為你喜歡那個學校,卻原來你是那麽鄙視名牌,因為那是個名牌高中。對不起,孩子,我對你的期望太高。以為你是個聰明的女孩,社會中,生活充滿了險惡,你太年輕,涉世未深,我想保護你,但是,我不知道怎樣去做,以為可以用自己的人生經曆來作為你的借簽,可是,誰知道,對你來說,那隻是一個笑話。對不起,孩子,在你申請大學的問題上,我又沒有征得你的同意,讓你選擇那些你不喜歡的學校,終於,這次,我以失敗而告終。因為,我終於知道你長大了,要征求你的意見了,也終於知道,你對名校那麽不屑一顧。好了,我終於完成了我的使命,把你培養長大,至少,今天以前,不管我用了什麽方式養育你,我可以說,我是一個合格的母親,至少,我盡力了!對不起,孩子因為我沒有在這裏受教育,所以,我不會寫英文,請你諒解我,所有這些都是Google Translate,edit by: susan在這裏,感謝你的好朋友Susan後來,女兒在我的博克上留下了這樣一段話, Mom. If anyone has to say sorry, it should be me.I was selfish and I still am. I don't know what your life was like and I can't imagine what it is like to raise a child.All I can say is that I love you, even though you may not believe me. Even though I never show it to you.Maybe I'll know what it's like when I have a family of my own to raise and take care of, maybe I won't. That's the future for you, uncertain and full of unexpected things.I understand your choices of how you bring me up and the classes you made me take. But I won't understand it with my heart until I'm much older. I get your reasons, but I just can't wrap my head around it. How someone can be so selfless, how you can give up so much.Maybe in our next life we will meet again. I'm sorry you don't want me to be your daughter anymore when that time comes. But just as long as you will be a part of my life, it's okay for me. As long as I can get to know you, even if I'm not a part of your intimate life. Even if you won't love me.I want to say thank you for bringing me up the way I am today. You thought me everything you could and you never not supported my decisions for anything.I'm sorry I never know what to do and always have to listen to others instead of you. 重溫之後,感慨萬千。
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