正文
Make Time For Yourself
By Dianne Hales
At her Pilates studio in Brookline, Mass., Lisa Johnson urges clients to make more time for themselves—but doesn't follow her own advice. "When you're a perfectionist with a customer-service business, you're never off-duty," says Johnson, 39. "I call in even on days off. It's been years since my husband and I have gone away for more than a long weekend."
Growing numbers of Americans like Johnson say they are starved for personal time. In an online survey conducted by the organization-consulting firm VitalSmarts, almost half of the respondents didn't take all the vacation days they'd earned. And about a third described their work/life balance as poor or very poor.
Too little downtime may have life-or-death consequences: A nine-year study of 12,338 men ages 35 to 57, all free of heart disease at the start, showed that those who took the most vacations were 29% less likely to be diagnosed later with heart disease—and 17% less likely to die of it—than those who skipped vacations.
So what chains us to our jobs? The prime culprit is fear. "People are afraid of not getting an e-mail, missing a conference call—and of what they'll discover about themselves if they relax," says Carleton Kendrick, a family therapist in Millis, Mass. "Before you can carve out time for yourself, do some soul-searching—not just about what you want but also about what you need. As human beings, we all need to take time to feed our souls."
Here are some strategies for getting started:
Track where your time goes. "For several days, jot down what you're doing every half-hour," suggests the therapist Leslie Godwin, author of From Burned Out to Fired Up. Look for time-devouring sinkholes like reading blogs or flicking through TV channels. Ask yourself, "Is this the best way I should be spending my time right now?"
Identify what you like to do. Make a list of your activities over recent months. "Put a plus sign next to those that energized or excited you and a minus sign next to those that drained you," recommends Dr. Mark Goulston, a Los Angeles psychiatrist. "Use your past to plan your future by putting more plus activities on your calendar."
Schedule leisure first. "People think like Cinderella: First they have to finish their work and then they can do what they like," says Pamela Dodd, an organizational psychologist and co-author of The 25 Best Time Management Tools & Techniques. "You may assume you have no other choice, but how you spend your time is based entirely on what you choose to do with it." If fitness is Priority One, for example, block out time for workouts and stick to your schedule.
Unplug. "Spend time being rather than only doing," advises the psychologist Kenneth W. Christian, author of Your Own Worst Enemy. "Turn off the car radio. Don't automatically turn on the news when you get home. Cocoon yourself in silence." Several times a day, come to a complete stop. "Einstein used to sit in his chair with his keys in his hand and relax his mind until the keys fell, hit the floor and woke him," says Christian. "Thinking creates bodily tension, so when you close your eyes and clear your mind of thoughts, you re-energize."
Build pleasure into every day. Listen to music that stirs or soothes you. Look at the night sky. " If you don't have time to go dancing, can't you take two minutes for a dance with your partner every evening?" asks Kendrick. "Once you expose yourself to just a little pleasure, it's like rekindling an old romance. You want more of it. And you can get it. You don't have to wait for the big birthday cake of a vacation. Take little bites of a cupcake every day."
Plan your breaks. Schedule a long weekend every season as well as an annual vacation. Save for these holidays just as you would for retirement, so you think of them as an investment in your health rather than an expense. Make your need for time off clear to your boss and co-workers. Tie up loose ends before you go and delegate responsibilities to trusted colleagues. Leave your BlackBerry or laptop at home—or at least in your hotel room, so you can check messages at your convenience. Let go of vacation guilt and accept leisure for what it is: a life-enhancing gift to yourself.
Growing numbers of Americans like Johnson say they are starved for personal time. In an online survey conducted by the organization-consulting firm VitalSmarts, almost half of the respondents didn't take all the vacation days they'd earned. And about a third described their work/life balance as poor or very poor.
Too little downtime may have life-or-death consequences: A nine-year study of 12,338 men ages 35 to 57, all free of heart disease at the start, showed that those who took the most vacations were 29% less likely to be diagnosed later with heart disease—and 17% less likely to die of it—than those who skipped vacations.
So what chains us to our jobs? The prime culprit is fear. "People are afraid of not getting an e-mail, missing a conference call—and of what they'll discover about themselves if they relax," says Carleton Kendrick, a family therapist in Millis, Mass. "Before you can carve out time for yourself, do some soul-searching—not just about what you want but also about what you need. As human beings, we all need to take time to feed our souls."
Here are some strategies for getting started:
Track where your time goes. "For several days, jot down what you're doing every half-hour," suggests the therapist Leslie Godwin, author of From Burned Out to Fired Up. Look for time-devouring sinkholes like reading blogs or flicking through TV channels. Ask yourself, "Is this the best way I should be spending my time right now?"
Identify what you like to do. Make a list of your activities over recent months. "Put a plus sign next to those that energized or excited you and a minus sign next to those that drained you," recommends Dr. Mark Goulston, a Los Angeles psychiatrist. "Use your past to plan your future by putting more plus activities on your calendar."
Schedule leisure first. "People think like Cinderella: First they have to finish their work and then they can do what they like," says Pamela Dodd, an organizational psychologist and co-author of The 25 Best Time Management Tools & Techniques. "You may assume you have no other choice, but how you spend your time is based entirely on what you choose to do with it." If fitness is Priority One, for example, block out time for workouts and stick to your schedule.
Unplug. "Spend time being rather than only doing," advises the psychologist Kenneth W. Christian, author of Your Own Worst Enemy. "Turn off the car radio. Don't automatically turn on the news when you get home. Cocoon yourself in silence." Several times a day, come to a complete stop. "Einstein used to sit in his chair with his keys in his hand and relax his mind until the keys fell, hit the floor and woke him," says Christian. "Thinking creates bodily tension, so when you close your eyes and clear your mind of thoughts, you re-energize."
Build pleasure into every day. Listen to music that stirs or soothes you. Look at the night sky. " If you don't have time to go dancing, can't you take two minutes for a dance with your partner every evening?" asks Kendrick. "Once you expose yourself to just a little pleasure, it's like rekindling an old romance. You want more of it. And you can get it. You don't have to wait for the big birthday cake of a vacation. Take little bites of a cupcake every day."
Plan your breaks. Schedule a long weekend every season as well as an annual vacation. Save for these holidays just as you would for retirement, so you think of them as an investment in your health rather than an expense. Make your need for time off clear to your boss and co-workers. Tie up loose ends before you go and delegate responsibilities to trusted colleagues. Leave your BlackBerry or laptop at home—or at least in your hotel room, so you can check messages at your convenience. Let go of vacation guilt and accept leisure for what it is: a life-enhancing gift to yourself.
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