導語：記得在國外讀MBA時有一門學前課程——藝術鑒賞。課程設置的目的一來為日後的商務社交做些知識儲備，二來提升一下自身的藝術人文修養。如果你也能接受“簡單粗暴”但行之有效的教學方式，那麽就接著往下看，用一句話教你至少可以認出世界名畫的作者。
If everyone in the paintings has enormous asses, then it’s Rubens.
如果畫裏的每個人都有個大屁股，那奏是魯本斯。
If all the men look like cow-eyed curly-haired women, it’s Caravaggio.
畫裏是大眼睛又卷毛的娘炮，那就是卡拉瓦喬。
If everybody has some sort of body malfunction, then it’s Picasso.
如果畫裏的人都有那麽些殘疾部位，那就是畢加索。
If it’something you saw on your acid trip last night, it’s Dali.
畫就跟你昨晚嗑藥High了之後看見的東西似的，那是達利。
If the images have a dark background and everyone has tortured expressions on theirfaces, it’s Titian.
畫裏背景都黑布隆冬的，臉上表情都跟受盡了折磨似的，必是提香。
If the paintings have tons of little people in them but otherwise seem normal, it’s Bruegel.
如果畫裏全都是一坨一坨小人兒，除此之外其他還挺正常的話，是勃魯蓋爾。
If the paintings have lots of little people in them but also have a ton of crazybullshit, it’s Bosch.
如果畫裏有一坨一坨小人兒，但還有一坨一坨“XX”東西的話，博斯。
If everyone – including the women – looks like Putin, then it’s van Eyck.
如果每個人都長著副死氣沉沉普京臉，那是凡艾克。
If everyone in the painting looks like a homeless in the dark street light,then it's Rembrandt.
如果畫裏的每個人物都像昏暗街燈下的流浪漢，那是倫勃朗。
If the painting could easily have a few chubby Cupids or sheep added (or already hasthem), it’s Boucher.
如果畫裏動不動就一群圓滾滾丘比特或者山羊，那是布歇。
If everyone is beautiful, naked, and stacked, it’s Michelangelo.
如果畫作裏有裸著的俊男美女並且人壓人，那是米開朗基羅。
If you see a ballerina, it’s Degas.
畫芭蕾舞娘的是德加。
If every painting is the face of a uni-browed woman, it’s Frida.
畫中是個有連心眉的女人，那是弗裏達畫的。
If everything is highly-contrasted and sharp, sort of bluish, and everyone hasgaunt bearded faces, it’s El Greco.
如果畫裏的每樣東西都明暗對比強烈、邊緣銳利，還總透著點藍窪窪，人物又都胡子拉碴憔悴不堪，得，是格列柯。
Dappled light but no figures, it’s Monet.
充滿光斑，但沒有人物 (輪廓？)，莫奈。
Dappled light and happy party-time people, it’s Renoir.
光斑，外加快快樂樂的Party，雷諾阿。
Dapple dlight and unhappy party-time people, then it’s Manet.
光斑，外加愁眉苦臉的Party，馬奈。
Lord ofthe Rings landscapes with weird blue mist and the same wavy-hairedaristocratic-nose Madonna, it’s Da Vinci.
景色像《指環王》裏一樣壯闊，卻籠罩著怪怪的藍色迷霧；聖母瑪利亞總有著同樣的卷發與貴族式的鼻子。這是達芬奇。
Painting filled with colourful Excel table, it's Mondrian.
充滿填充色塊的Excel表格，蒙德裏安。
