jgey的單身日記
隨便寫寫...
正文
今天天氣好得令人心醉，我睡到下午1點，做了很多奇怪的夢，記不清內容，隻記得在夢裏不停的哭。昨晚看歐洲杯比賽，意大利對羅馬尼亞，我和D打賭，他說2-1，意大利贏，我說1-1平。沒什麽意外，我贏了，女人的直覺很準，我可以考慮去賭球，lol. 歐洲杯很精彩，連對足球興趣一般的我也看得津津有味。
周五早起，和D聊天，又是吵架，也不知道哪兒來那麽多的不愉快。他說我給他壓力，我說他自我中心，他說我like those barbie girls, 我說，“maybe I am a barbie girl, cos I need more caring and attention from the dumbass who supposed to be my bf!” 吵夠了，還要去上班，早晨的辦公室裏，我火氣十足，老板小心翼翼的看我的臉色。朋友們都說，算了，這事兒成不了；其實，不用他們說，我心裏也很清楚，我和D不合適，雖然在一起的時候很開心，但性格上，he is kinda naive, after all, he is only 27, what I can say, and he is spoiled, 2 years living in Shanghai, well, everybody knows whats going on there for a cute white guy... 而我，沒有耐心和“小朋友”相處，看以前德的例子就知道，而且，要我去spoil a guy，除非我腦子壞掉，這種事情我是想做也做不來的。還有那麽遠的距離，Takako說的對，我根本不適合遠距離戀愛，其實我一直覺得long distance relationship is bullshit, if the one you love cant be standing by you when you need him/her, what the relationship for? 但是我就如同嚐百草的神農，非要嚐到“NND，這草有毒”，才算罷休，一個朋友就說過我，“你是不撞南牆不回頭”，不過還好，至少我知道回頭，總比撞了南牆仍舊不回頭的人要好，滿頭大包的繼續撞南牆，那得有多大的毅力，lol. 遠距離戀愛的基礎是互相信任，但要我去相信一個男人，這件事，很難，just check out all my male friends, how many little tricks they play behind their gfs/wives? 當然，正人君子總是有的，不過我不想去賭我的運氣，if I say I trust him, probably means I dont care, if I dont care, trust or not, it doesnt matter at all, right? 人生的不快樂無非是擔心得不到，或者害怕會失去已經得到的，如果什麽都無所謂，自然就快樂了。從瑞士回來有一個月了，我的愛情fever也該過去了，step back a little, I would be much happier, 比起煎熬且甜蜜的愛著，我更喜歡冷淡且自由的無所謂著。
工作越來越忙，我現在每天早早到辦公室，希望到年底公司會有好的成績，這樣我就可以和老板談加薪。前幾天和Dave吃飯，他幫我分析了一下，有希望把年薪提高一倍，這個想法讓我對工作的熱情開始有些恢複，畢竟是生存之本，money, career，對單身女人來說，比愛情要可靠很多，我喜歡可以握在自己手裏的東西，感覺更踏實。而且，this year I gonna be 29 years old, 軼已經過了29歲生日，現在嚴禁我對她提“29”這個數字，怡的29歲生日很快就要到，天天對我發表她的感慨，F同學雖然是男生，但29歲生日一樣也讓他有些慌恐... 20s的最後一年，its time to get my life more organized, be a little more serious about stuff, maybe I dont have to settle down, get married, have kids... yet, but at least, should be able to offer myself some good quality life.
最近遠離shopping，錢都花在吃飯，喝酒，出去玩上。夏天，the party season, 隻要不下雨，就想出去玩，特別是溫暖的夏日夜晚，不到處閑逛一番，實在是浪費。周三和Dave吃晚飯，然後他帶我去了一個小pub，很是可愛，they have "shot hall of fame", 15 different shots, then you can get a free t-shirt and your name on the wall. 我慢慢讀牆上的小銅牌，名字，日期，還有一句話留言，a guy said, "whats my name?" Well, after 15 shots, its not easy to remember your own name, lol. 有機會，我也想試一次，希望不會又醉得被送醫院，慢慢喝，應該不會那麽糟。和Dave閑扯，他說他上周又fool around, 然後說了一句，“I feel really empty, hollow, cos the woman I had sex with is not the woman I love.” 真是得了便宜還賣乖，我正想揶揄他幾句，突然看到Dave的眼神，那種從沒見過的悲哀... “I have been too selfish, maybe I should change, for her(means his ex-wife)...”我沉默，每個人都有自己的問題，不去想，不代表不存在。
昨晚又和Miho出去，晚飯，然後A971。比起Heartland，我現在更喜歡A971，人少些，空間又大，不用擠來擠去，bartenders越來越上道，DJ也不錯。Miho還是繼續尋找她的serious relationship, scanning all the guys there, I was enjoying my cold beer, good trance music, and watching people. 偶然和一個男人對上眼神，他微笑，我也禮貌的笑一笑，但沒有什麽特別的興趣，he was on a date with a girl, at the same time flirting, lol. 後來，和那個男人一起的女孩去bar台買酒，他竟然徑直走到我麵前，把他的business card遞給我，“Would you email or call me?”我笑，“Is that your gf?”他說，“Nah, just a friend, I would like to talk with you more than her.”LOL, Jesus, 我想如果那個女生聽到他這麽講，估計會把整杯酒潑他臉上。我接過名片，笑笑，“Sure.”等Miho回來，我講給她聽，Miho立刻興奮的開始scanning the guy and his date，然後不停的問我會不會聯係他，我笑，說，“如果你對他有興趣，我可以把名片給你。”Well, its the typical friday night in Tokyo, easy to have fun, but tough to find happiness, always.
周五早起，和D聊天，又是吵架，也不知道哪兒來那麽多的不愉快。他說我給他壓力，我說他自我中心，他說我like those barbie girls, 我說，“maybe I am a barbie girl, cos I need more caring and attention from the dumbass who supposed to be my bf!” 吵夠了，還要去上班，早晨的辦公室裏，我火氣十足，老板小心翼翼的看我的臉色。朋友們都說，算了，這事兒成不了；其實，不用他們說，我心裏也很清楚，我和D不合適，雖然在一起的時候很開心，但性格上，he is kinda naive, after all, he is only 27, what I can say, and he is spoiled, 2 years living in Shanghai, well, everybody knows whats going on there for a cute white guy... 而我，沒有耐心和“小朋友”相處，看以前德的例子就知道，而且，要我去spoil a guy，除非我腦子壞掉，這種事情我是想做也做不來的。還有那麽遠的距離，Takako說的對，我根本不適合遠距離戀愛，其實我一直覺得long distance relationship is bullshit, if the one you love cant be standing by you when you need him/her, what the relationship for? 但是我就如同嚐百草的神農，非要嚐到“NND，這草有毒”，才算罷休，一個朋友就說過我，“你是不撞南牆不回頭”，不過還好，至少我知道回頭，總比撞了南牆仍舊不回頭的人要好，滿頭大包的繼續撞南牆，那得有多大的毅力，lol. 遠距離戀愛的基礎是互相信任，但要我去相信一個男人，這件事，很難，just check out all my male friends, how many little tricks they play behind their gfs/wives? 當然，正人君子總是有的，不過我不想去賭我的運氣，if I say I trust him, probably means I dont care, if I dont care, trust or not, it doesnt matter at all, right? 人生的不快樂無非是擔心得不到，或者害怕會失去已經得到的，如果什麽都無所謂，自然就快樂了。從瑞士回來有一個月了，我的愛情fever也該過去了，step back a little, I would be much happier, 比起煎熬且甜蜜的愛著，我更喜歡冷淡且自由的無所謂著。
工作越來越忙，我現在每天早早到辦公室，希望到年底公司會有好的成績，這樣我就可以和老板談加薪。前幾天和Dave吃飯，他幫我分析了一下，有希望把年薪提高一倍，這個想法讓我對工作的熱情開始有些恢複，畢竟是生存之本，money, career，對單身女人來說，比愛情要可靠很多，我喜歡可以握在自己手裏的東西，感覺更踏實。而且，this year I gonna be 29 years old, 軼已經過了29歲生日，現在嚴禁我對她提“29”這個數字，怡的29歲生日很快就要到，天天對我發表她的感慨，F同學雖然是男生，但29歲生日一樣也讓他有些慌恐... 20s的最後一年，its time to get my life more organized, be a little more serious about stuff, maybe I dont have to settle down, get married, have kids... yet, but at least, should be able to offer myself some good quality life.
最近遠離shopping，錢都花在吃飯，喝酒，出去玩上。夏天，the party season, 隻要不下雨，就想出去玩，特別是溫暖的夏日夜晚，不到處閑逛一番，實在是浪費。周三和Dave吃晚飯，然後他帶我去了一個小pub，很是可愛，they have "shot hall of fame", 15 different shots, then you can get a free t-shirt and your name on the wall. 我慢慢讀牆上的小銅牌，名字，日期，還有一句話留言，a guy said, "whats my name?" Well, after 15 shots, its not easy to remember your own name, lol. 有機會，我也想試一次，希望不會又醉得被送醫院，慢慢喝，應該不會那麽糟。和Dave閑扯，他說他上周又fool around, 然後說了一句，“I feel really empty, hollow, cos the woman I had sex with is not the woman I love.” 真是得了便宜還賣乖，我正想揶揄他幾句，突然看到Dave的眼神，那種從沒見過的悲哀... “I have been too selfish, maybe I should change, for her(means his ex-wife)...”我沉默，每個人都有自己的問題，不去想，不代表不存在。
昨晚又和Miho出去，晚飯，然後A971。比起Heartland，我現在更喜歡A971，人少些，空間又大，不用擠來擠去，bartenders越來越上道，DJ也不錯。Miho還是繼續尋找她的serious relationship, scanning all the guys there, I was enjoying my cold beer, good trance music, and watching people. 偶然和一個男人對上眼神，他微笑，我也禮貌的笑一笑，但沒有什麽特別的興趣，he was on a date with a girl, at the same time flirting, lol. 後來，和那個男人一起的女孩去bar台買酒，他竟然徑直走到我麵前，把他的business card遞給我，“Would you email or call me?”我笑，“Is that your gf?”他說，“Nah, just a friend, I would like to talk with you more than her.”LOL, Jesus, 我想如果那個女生聽到他這麽講，估計會把整杯酒潑他臉上。我接過名片，笑笑，“Sure.”等Miho回來，我講給她聽，Miho立刻興奮的開始scanning the guy and his date，然後不停的問我會不會聯係他，我笑，說，“如果你對他有興趣，我可以把名片給你。”Well, its the typical friday night in Tokyo, easy to have fun, but tough to find happiness, always.
嗬嗬...那就借您吉言了.
To emigre,
有時侯我會想,獨立究竟是件好事,還是壞事...會不會因為獨立,不是100%需要一個partner,而影響對感情的投入? Well, I guess you know what I mean... All after, I still think being independent is the best way, 一點點寂寞, 但是自由.
Very "Jing Dian." I too think the thing is to save more and buy some real estate or invest well, money in the bank is better than any relationship, not because men change, but we do too.
對於一個30以後的人來說。