【非文青每周一文】Fear is good--烤麵包草稿

下周烤麵包用，有點過長，還需要刪。歡迎磚頭和剪刀。

Fellow toastmasters, Halloween is approaching. What’s your biggest fear? Don’t you hate feeling scared? However, last week, I had an enlightening moment about fear. Now I think some fears itself is are not to be feared, but to be endeared. It is a good, healthy feeling if you act upon it. Why do I say this? I reached this conclusion from my experience last week and also from my reflection on some of the most common fears that plague us. Let me tell you about my experience first.

Last week, the morning after our previous TM meeting, my company announced that 10% of R&D employees would be laid off. Because I work remotely, I felt extra vulnerable. I got a little anxious, even a little scared. With two young kids to raise and a mortgage to pay, we can’t afford to lose my job and live only on my husband’s salary. After the initial panic, I started looking at job listings and started thinking about my career. As you may know, I have been thinking about a job change for a while because I want to do something that involves more interpersonal communications. The idea of a job change had been at the back of my mind, but I didn’t take any real actions until last week. The announcement got my attention and the fear of losing the job pushed me to look at my career, and look at the bigger picture: What I want to do with my career, what I am passionate about and what I want to accomplish in my life. I asked myself, why didn’t I start this earlier? I realized because I was too complacent with the status quo. I was happy that I didn’t need to commute. I could keep my son at home and have a very flexible schedule. I kept on telling myself that I could wait a little bit until my kids are older. Now, my idea about a job change is like a blurred picture that suddenly finds its focus. my idea about a job change is like a blurred picture that is suddenly brought into sharp focus. I know better about what I want. I should thank the fear I felt of losing the job, for pushing me out of my comfort zone--my complacence.

I checked the top 10 fears most commonly seen. Fear of death, fear of failure and fear of public speaking were the ones that most intrigued me as they are more on the psychological side. It hit me that all three fears, when acted upon, would do us more good than harm. The recently deceased Apple founder Steve Jobs once said: "For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?'" When fear of death was acted upon, it became, for Jobs, not necessarily a fear of death, but more like a consciousness of our mortality that inspired him not to “waste [time] living someone else's life, [and not to] be trapped by dogma”.

Fear of death makes us live a more fulfilling life, and be more creative. Fear of failures makes us work more diligently and be more prepared, and ultimately, achieve success. Fear of public speaking makes us come here today and overcome the obstacles in communication. Let’s not fear the fear, but embrace the fear. Let's not fear making a speech, but make a speech about fear.

 

Note: This Wednesday afternoon, after a pretty long and agonizing wait, we finally got an email from the department announcing that notifications had been complete. I was safe. But it saddened me to hear that a coworker, who actually was the one that referred me to the company, was let go. But c’est la vie… I wish him the best in finding another job.